Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-14011542-20131009214425/@comment-24130900-20140118191247

My dragonborn is on an epic quest to get revenge on the one-armed man who stole his Nordic sweet roll. He could have spent 2 septims on a new one, sure, but it was the principle of the thing. Any-hoo, spying a group of blue-clad Nords treking through a wintery valley, he rose from his hiding spot behind Lokir of Rorikstead. As he was about to bellow "WHERE IS MY SWEETROLL?!" to Ulfric an Co, the Imperials launched their ambush. Arthen the Sweetseeker was captured along with the Stormcloaks.

As his adventures continued, he eventually discovered that the one-armed man ate his beloved desert. And that the one-armed man choked to death on it. Reasoning that, since both his desert and the man who stole it were both Nords, they'd probably end up in Sovngarde, he finds a way to enter that blessed domain. He does find the one-armed man (with the ghost of the sweetroll still lodged in his throat), only to be stymied by Alduin eating them both.

Fortunately, he yells at Alduin a bunch and kills his ghost or whatever and is finally reunited with his sweetroll.

Basically, it's just a retelling of the story of Orpheus, but with a sweetroll instead of a girlfirend and yelling instead of lute-playing.