User blog:4. 1. 22. 5. M97/Rivalries: Dave and Madman97 on C0DA.

Dave: So...I didn't know about this C0DA thing until literally three days ago, and I tried doing a blog critic on it, but its just to long to do my stuff with it. So, me and Madman97 have decided to do a Rivalry. Here we go.

Madman97: Also, we would like to formally announce our participation in this organization called the Bloggers Tribunal, or Blog Union, which is a trifecta of three promonent bloggers, including myself, Zippertrain85, and a relatively new guy, User: Emperor Jarjarkine, you may recognize him from the interviews he does, and they have also become quickly popular, and together we form the Bloggers Tribunal.

Dave: I'm left out. :'c

Madman97: Yes, there is no room for a fourth man in a Tribunal, so Dave will remain an associate. We have had Emperor Jarjarkine make Templates for us, but they are apprently difficult, so pardon the rudimentary one we have up here. We need to find a way to make it stay in the left hand corner and change the picture. If anyone had a cooler one, feel free to drop us a line. But that's not what you guys are here for. No, you are here to see what we have to say on this C0DA business, and like Dav said before, we had no idea what it was, but it was supposed to be something that would bring all the questions we had to a close, solving them once and for all. Now when we heard this, we were like, oh Sh*t, this is pretty important stuff! So, naturally, we read it, top to bottom. I wish they had pictures like it was supposed to, but I could still visualize what they were trying to say. So, Dave, verdict?

Dave:...If you have followed us throughout our time on this wikia, you would know that there is a dividing line between the Madman here and me when it comes to Micheal Kirkbride's work. I support it, Madman hates it with a passion, and we both have good reasons for doing so, and it is often something of a debate for us, but when we read this thing...We both had the same reaction. Maddy, would you like to tell them?

Madman97: Ok, ok...I liked it.

Dave: We both did!

Madman97: But did it make any sense whatsoever or do you think Bethesda would really endorse this as the next chapter in the Elder Scrolls franchise?

Dave: Oh F*ck no! We got robots, moons, gods popping in for the main characters bachelor party for no goddamn reason. This thing really puts your head in a spin. I tried to to a Blog Critic on it and it was going to be the longest blog ever put on here had I not forgot to sign in when making it and I had to delete my work.

Madman97: Yeah, Dave was mad.

Dave: I punched the computer screen. (Laughs)

Madman97: But yeah, we think it was really interesting. Dave, can you give the sypnosis?

Dave: Basically, C0DA takes place in the far future, and I am talking FAR future, where Nirn has been destroyed for some reason, and the Duner had fled to one of the moons, the red one, and live underground, and they have all kinds of star warsy sh*t like robots, and the whole place is run by these things called the digitals, who I think are some sort of sentient A.I. Now, robots are nothing new to the Elder Scrolls. The Dwemer had a bunch running around their tombs, but the thing was, they were also powered by magic, so it kind of made sense. Here, I am sure there is a bit of magic, but its more technological prowess than magic. It's a drastic step from Skyrim, and like I said before, it is an interesting setting, and I have always admired Kirkbride's work, even if you and me don't like his style of writing.

Madman97: Like that passage near the end where the guy goes, "You were made to say F*ck it." I mean, what person in the Elder Scrolls universe would talk like that?

Dave: This is one of the main points for Madman folks on why he doesn't like Kirkbride.

Madman97: You cannot deny that his way of writing is unsuitable for the point he is trying to give, it doesn't help the story in any way, it just makes it infinitly more confusing, and its a detriment to good writing in general. Plus, I think it's disrespectful to the fanbase. But, a lot of people don't care, as Bethesda seems to like CHIM and all that sh*t.

Dave: Now, keep in mind here audience, I do support CHIM and believe in it, but Madman has a point when he says Bethesda never confirmed CHIM, only likes the idea. It doesn't necessarily mean it is proven, as with any of Kirkbride's work. In my opinion, Bethesda would never consider this C0DA canon. It doesn't answer sh*t, it just raises more questions.

Madman97: Ok, so the story begins with this guy named Jubal, he comes from a Dunmeri house of Salt Traders, and as he is introduced, we are shown the kind of world he lives in. Nirn has been destroyed, and every Landfall season where the winds have died down enough to allow surface travel on the moon, Jubal must go up and talk to Memory, in this context, Nirn, which is a blasted apart asteroid that is kept together by unknown forces, and interlocking gears can be seen inside like it is a huge contraption, held together by mathmatical equations not understood by mortals, so people don't forget where they came from. Later, Jubal tells his pal Hir, also a wealthy Dunmeri guy, that he is getting married to a Warrior Princess, and since seperate classes cannot marry each other, and since it is sacrifice season, Jubal must hunt and kill a Numidium to prove his worth.

Dave: This is the part where I started to go, Yeeeeeaaaaaaah, this is not canon. Like, I think it would be cool if Nirn really was destroyed and we had to go explore the moon. It's a little Sci-Fi, but I can deal with it as long as they kept the spirit of the Elder Scrolls in there. However, I was under the impression there was only one Numidium and it was destroyed. Correct me if I am wrong, but unless the Dwemer built a rocket ship in the Numidium, how the heck did it get one the moon?

Madman97: That's not the only question this story raises. Jubal oes to a gentlemens club where he gets high off of Skooma with a bunch of Khajjit, and then goes to a market place where weird Kirkbride stuff happens and Vivec shows up out of the blue, and then we start to get a little backstory for Vivec, who Jubal explains, saw things differently than most people. We see Vivec and his friends, like Nerevar and Amelexia or something discover the heart that gives them powers, become teenage rascals who whore themselves out, becomes generals, and Vivec fought so well he eventually became a god, because logic? Who needs it? And then we see a neo-victorian version of Times Square, where we see a bunch of people with Televeisions on their heads run around.

Dave: (Sigh) Kirkbride, a lot of people fiercely defend your work because no matter how strange it was, it made a weird sort of sense. But this? This is just...He was on crack when he made this. I'm just gonna come out and say it. Kirkbride and all the authors who were in on this, were on crack. This story should not be taken seriously. I mean, they mention Times Square! OUR TIMES SQUARE! NEW YORK! Why would you do that? What purpose does it serve? Is it really trying to cram down our throats that they know they are in a video game and want to make it this whole thing? Because the thing that was fun about CHIM is that it hinted that the person was a player in a video game. I'm not sure what the message is here. Ok, so we go through a bunch of antics I honestly skimmed over until we see the line from Alondo Sul, "HE'S MAKING ANOTHER NUMIDIUM?" Ok, so if it was to make any sort of sens, Vivec was around in the distopian future of Nirn and he was doing Vivec stuff when he came across a mad scientist who was making the Numidium for the Akaviri. That's all I an get out of this. And then we see Jubal in his stufy. So apprently, the Mumidium became some kind of thing and they ended up on the moon, and escape route if you will. Because logic!

Madman97: I've also noticed that they use the word "God" a lot, like Captial G God, the Big G, THE God, as in that found in Judeo-Christian and Abrahamic beliefs. WHY would you put God in the mix? I wasn't aware God was apart of the Elder Scrolls Universe. Unless you count All-Maker, but the name God never popped up. Anyway, Vivec teleports Jubal out of the market, and Jubal is having surgery, and decided to cut off both of his hands. Because FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK LOOOOOOOGGGGIIIIIC!!!! He then goes to a club for his bachelors party since he is getting married,  and then a lot of wierd sh*t happens, but if you had made it in this far to the story, you would come to expect it so. He talks with the likes of Akatosh, Kyne, Talos who then turns into Lorkhan, about...I don't know, Kirkbride weird sh*t. Finally, Jubal talks down the Numidium, where he starts to question as to why it stuck around all this time. A little more backstory on why they are on the moon is given, and apprently, a series of wars happend that ended with the Numidium chasing them to the moon, and Jubal asks if it has unfinished business. The Numidium answers maybe, and then Jubal just cuts its head off and wears the body like a shell of armor. Then we cut to the wedding day, where his buddy Hir had betrayed him and hired the Morag Tong to kill him. Jubal mops the floor with them and kills Hir. Then the wedding happens, and Jubal marries Vivec, because he is a woman now, and it ends.

Dave: Seriously, what the actual F*CK did I just read? People have told me Vivec was a Hermaphrodite. WHEN? When has it been stated in the games VIVEC IS A F*CKING MAN LADY?! I've played Morrowind, there wasn't anything like this with that.

Madman97: Props for creativity.

Dave: I feel like my I.Q. just went both up and down for sitting through this and reading this. This answered no questions. It just made more. I-just-f*ck!

Madman97: Keep in mind, we did like it, but we do not consider it canon.

Dave: Especially since a lot of volunteer work was involved, so anything could have gone.

Madman97: Plus, it's Kirkbride. There really isn't anything more to say. He's a weirdo, his stuff makes no sense, and just trolls the fanbase without ever giving us any hint. I'm sure MK enthusiasts will find someway to shoehorn in CHIM or God shards or some SH*T, but seriously, what was Kirkbride thinking when he made this? He made this a Star Wars story, not an Elder Scrolls adventure.

Dave: For...once, I completely agree with you. This should not be considered canon in any respect. I like the idea of a post apocalyptic Nirn, I like the idea of meeting different cosmic characters, but it goes against everything the Elder Scrolls has established at this point, and Kirkbride really just wants to remake it all into his own, and I don't think that is something that should be done. I'm sorry if some in the audience were really expecting a fight out of me against Madman97 in defending Kirkbride, but I think Madman here gets a point today.

Madman97: You're goddang right I do! But, seriously, leave a comment on your opinion of it audience. I want to know what everyone else thinks of it. So stay madm and take care.

Dave: Samesees.