Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-7153552-20130712205225/@comment-24489208-20131011221834

I have only read a small amount of your work, I admit it isn't my kind of genre, but it is certainly good from what I've read. I see in some ways that it could use some work though, the story itself is fine as is the spelling and grammer. The descriptive side of things is from what I can see, needs a little bit of work, from what I've read you have a tendency to write things as they are, e.g. "Derp Herpington continued along the road." I feel that it would be better if you used more writing techniques in your works, such as similes, metaphors, complex adjectives, personification and other techniques which add more flavour to the environment which you are trying to create through words, it makes it more interesting for the reader and creates a clearer image in our mind of what the world looks like, even if we already know what the world looks like because of the games.

Of course I'm no author so I am not giving professional advice but this is what I personally think.