Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-10555401-20130718173559/@comment-24489208-20130718174851

Good for now, grammar and punctuation is a little off which ruins the flow a bit for me. It would also of been good if you introduced the characters a little slower and with more detail. You made sure to stay in the past tense for the story which is good. It would be nice though if you paused the story for a moment and wrote about the Thalmor's reaction to the events already described.