User blog:DubiousPeddler/Fishy on: The Imperial Simulacrum

You know that one game no one plays? Arena? Yeah, this is what happened in that game.

So, this guy named Jagger Yarn was taking a walk when he was like.

"Am tyerd off meh jab az a prest-maje in Carmlawn. I got da mooves liek Jagger, I shud becum eperer."

Jagger got in his car and drove to Mournhold whilst blasting vulgar rap music through his radio and pulled over next to Barenziah, who was shopping at the time. He rolled down his windows, and winked at Barenziah while giving her a winning smile. He then opened the door. and stepped out on the street. Everyone on Mournhold surrounded him and they all instantly broke into dance, Jagger Yarn singing "I got the moves like Jagger" to her. Barenziah was instantly wooed and jumped into the car with him, and they drove off into the sunset. Barenziah was like:

"Jagger, I luv u. Ez thr nytheng I ken do fer u?"

Jagger was like.

"O ya. Tll meh wer old mernhald ez. I ned 2 pek up mah aunt hoo leves ther."

Barenziah, being an airhead, decided to tell him and they both made it there. Barenziah was like:

"Jagger, doo u luv meh 4evr?"

Jagger responded:

"No, fuk of Breziah."

Barenziah broke into tears and ran into the streets, where she was struck by a flying ice cream truck and died.

Jagger approached her corpse, sobbed and whispered. "I men 2 sae I luv u 5evr." For he truly loved her. In her memory, he decided to take revenge on the one who was driving the truck. Urinal September. He found the Seven Chaos Emeralds and vanished.

Years later, Jagger applied for a job as Urinal's entertainer, and instantly got hired once Urinal heard him sing "I got the moves like Jagger."

One day, Jagger asked Urinal if he could do a backflip. Urinal had to defend his ego and was like.

"Ya rly."

Unknowing of the fact that there was a portal to Oblivion behind him, Urinal did a backflip straight into it and Jagger closed it. Jagger then put on some make-up and impersonated Urinal September for years.

One day, some random guy decided to gather the chaos emeralds, which were scatted across the provinces, and use them to stop Jagger. In the final battle, Jagger struck the random hero down and got ready to impale him, when suddenly, a heartbroken, undead Barenziah came crashing through the ceiling in a flying ice cream truck. Jagger turned around, and the last thing he saw was Barenziah's terrifying face before being ran over by her. The hero got up and wanted to thank Barenziah, but she turned him into a zombie instead.

Well, that's that. Stay tuned for more Fishy on's!

Oh, and they forgot Urinal in Oblivion.