The Ballad of Skald Skullsplitter

Summary

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Content
My songs are sung in drinking halls From Winterhold to Daggerfall. Buy me some ale! I'll drink it all For I don't sing for free! The dragons left Nirn long ago A tale of vast and cosmic woe You might expect them back, but no, They're all afraid of me! I challenged a titanic Orc, For his great blade and priceless torc, Then asked if he would taste like pork He dropped his sword to flee! I met a fair young maiden Elf, Who kept my sonnets on a shelf, I showed her a few things myself Now her kids look like me! I met a Bosmer on a road A vicious freak in mud and woad I bellowed like a monstrous toad. He promptly climbed a tree! I faced a strong young strapping lad Who swore I was his long lost Dad I must say that is quite too bad I swear it wasn't me! A great Dwemer automaton, Confronted me upon a lawn I told him where the Dwarves had gone Then threw it in the sea! A Redguard's deadly with a blade, That's curved, like all the swords they've made But they're too dull to cut my braids, They're not as sharp as me! Through Tamriel, I've fought them all, In darkest caves, by city walls No place is grand as this great hall Now have a drink or three! And raise a mug with me! Make sure I drink for free!