Academy's Rejection Letter

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Scholar Oppius,

Once again you repeat your assertions that Goblins have domesticated creatures of several species, including spiders and kwama. And once again I must inform you that the academy's journal will publish no papers making such outlandish claims without conclusive proof.

You offer no proof for the excellent reason that none exists. Goblins are not intelligent enough to be domesticated themselves, let alone to domesticate other species. Your premise is ridiculous, your reasoning is flimsy, and your conclusions are insupportable.

The more unlikely one's thesis, the stronger one's proof must be to overcome disbelief. Offering no proof for an assertion as controversial as yours invites ridicule. And I am delighted to provide it.

Do not waste my time with any further submissions except in the improbable event that you obtain conclusive proof of your claims. Even then, a witness credible to the academy must swear to the veracity of your paper and must be willing to co-author it.

I do not expect to hear from you again. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors as a charlatan.

Felicitas Mallicius Editor-in-Chief Species and Speculation Journal