User blog:Sneak+stab/Adventuring with a Homicidal maniac

Today's session started with me, in the tower to the southeast of Falkreath, trying to kill vampires for the ex jarl of Falkreath. Vampires tend to be magic users, and so I refuse to face them head on.

One castle full of dead vampires and a nice reward from an old fart later, I decided to follow the road east, through Helgen, the pass south of the Throat, and climb the 7 thousand steps, using my bound battle axe to level my two handed along the way. As I passed the shack of Pinewatch, just east of Falkreath, i got jumped by two bandit chiefs, one highwayman, and one thug. The thug and highwayman shot arrows at me, while the chiefs engaged with melee weapons. Then this random troll decides that this looks like fun. These guys would have been a serious threat to me, if I had let the archers shoot me. However, the archers only managed to get me about three times, and the rest of the time I got them to shoot their buddies in the back.

After the chiefs and the highwayman was dead, I saw a new behavior, the thug (at full health) yelled "we are routed! fall back!" (who he was shouting to, i don't know, all the rest of them were dead.) He didn't get away, because I shot him in the back with my bound bow. (conjuration FTW!)

The trip was mostly uneventful, the usual ambush by the two bandit archers at the rockfall traps, a couple bears, the usual travelling. My blue axe explained things to them. Then I arrived at the ruins of Helgen, where there were at least eight bandits hanging out. For some reason, Shadowmere was fighting them. That horse shows up in the oddest places. As I remember, the last place I fast traveled to was the College at Winterhold, so that should have been where Shadowmere was.

Regardless, my steed was in peril. We fought boldy against 4/1 odds, a cat and his horse. We won of course, because they were all attacking Shadowmere and they basicly let me bludgeon them to death with my axe. once they were looted, I got on Shadowmere and we headed east into the mountains.

There were not more hostiles for a long while, we passed a hunter riding his horse. I tried to sell him a sabre cat pelt, but he only had 7 gold on him. He also didn't have anything worth killing him over, so I let him go.

Then, I saw a Khajit in a robe and hood. I expected some skooma dealer, but it was Mai'q the Liar! he said something about blocking with two weapons and some other things about Alduin not being Akatosh, I don't remember his exact phrasing. Then, he told me to go away. At the time I was thinking whether to kill him and steal his soul or not, but I probably should have followed him to see where he went, help out that blogger below me. Hindsight's 20-20

Shadowmere and I rode on, killed another bear, then passed through Ivarstead. As we reached the first stairs, I dismounted and started up on foot. This is because the last time I went up there, my horse was pushed off a cliff by a Frost Troll and I didn't want to get Shadowmere killed. So, up I went. By this time, it was about 5:45 AM in the game, and the sun was rising. The air was absolutly clear, every other time I had climbed these stairs, it was snowing or it was foggy. This time, I could see forever.

The view over the mountains in the south is worth poetry, but I hate poetry. If you want to know what it looks like, go there yourself and hope for a clear view.

As I climbed, I read the engravings on the little shrines along the way. I'd forgotten they were there. Tommorow, I think I'll check if the text from those shrines in on this Wiki somewhere. If not, I'll add it, maybe make a page titled "7,000 steps"

Three Frost Trolls later, I arrived at High Hrothgar. I went looking for Arngeir in his tower out in the courtyard. This time, however, Einarth was meditating up there. I found Arngeir in the monastary, standing in the east wing. I asked him where a word was, and he pointed me at a place called Dead Crone Cave, or something to that effect. I hate the Forsworn so much, how does a pointy stick have better damage than an iron sword?

Dead Crone Cave is a location in the northwestern mountains, north of Markarth, southwest of the Thalmor Embassy. It is full of Forsworn, though most of them are at a fairly low level. Shadowmere and I took down the eight outside the location, then I headed in.

Most Word Walls have big bosses guarding them, that you have to fight to get at the word, or that you have to fight right after getting the word. Dead Crone Cave does not make you do that. Instead, you follow this teleporting Hagraven through the place, killing tons of witches who have truly pathetic attacks. Then, after you get the word, you can see a door that makes you think "convinient exit!"

WRONG! It's the boss fight. The Hagraven conjures two frost wraiths out of nowhere, then they set about blasting you with frost and fire. I have a 62% fire and 60% frost resistance due to items, and they still almost got my 290 HP character on the first volley. The fight was a cakewalk after I chugged a three potions, ultimate healing, 50% fire resist, 50% frost resist. Turns out, Hagravens have white souls.

I have forgotten to mention, I use bound weapons mostly because of the soul trapping effect they have once you buy that perk. I have at least a hundred of each type of gem in my bag, and at least twenty blacks, though the blacks are all filled after my adventures with those silly bandits. I'm going to activate the Mage stone pretty soon and start enchanting random things.

Anyways, I finished that dungeon, and I was looking at the map to fast travel back to High Hrothgar. But, that little cabin icon on the map representing the Thalmor Embassy was calling out to me. It said "It's been a month since your last raid! There's probably more snobby elves here! You know you want to kill them all!"

That night, there was a tragic werewolf attack at the Thalmor Embassy. Twelve elves were mauled by the beast and, from the hoofprints on the bodies, a horse was involved in some way.

Happy and with a stomach full elves, I went back to High Hrothgar. This time Arngeir was eating dinner at the round table in the west wing of the monastary, where the negotiations were once held. He sent me to some dragon perch near the shrine to Mehrunes Dagon.

I approached the sleeping dragon from the front, but my many dagger slices on it's wing tips did not register as hits. I tried going around the Word Wall where it was perched to slash at it's tail, but I couldn't get around. Finally, fed up with that, I went around the mountain and went over the top of the word wall, landing on the dragon's back. Between my 100 level sneak skill and Cicero's outfit, I did not wake him up.

I readied my Epic Dwarven Dagger, dousing it in a nice poison. I know I should have used my Glass Dagger, but this one has sentimental value to me, I killed the Emporer with it. Sadly, my sneak power attack was not sufficient to kill the dragon outright, it had just the slightest sliver of health left. It took off from underneath me, apparently the back of a dragon is frictionless and impossible to balance on when a dragon is moving. I conjured my bow and notched an arrow.

The dragon flew out to the northeast, then he came hurtling back towards the perch. As he crashed, he pushed up mounds of dirt, coming to a stop just in front of me. As he stirred, I put an arrow in his head, killing him. I absorbed the word (the third in the Marked For Death shout, yay!), looted the gold from the dragon and his chest, and was skipping off down the sheer face of the mountain by the time the devouring animation finished.

My heading was Dawnstar. The objective, do the Mehrunes Dagon quest. I already had the mueseum quest in my journal, and you all probably know the way the quest goes, so I'll cut that part short. The interesting bits, I put a kettle on the mueseum curator's head and stole everything out of his displays, then at the end I let the curator live to spite Dagon. I hate that guy, I can do his job so much better.

Next thing to do was find one more Dawnstar quest so I could be named Thane, so I talked to the Ship Captain in the docks, who asked me to find some void salts. Lots of dead Drougr, a few more levels in two handed, and old cappy was happy.

I got awared the title of thane, then I shut down for the night. The thane sword sucks, I think I'll just put it on display in my house in Markarth, since Breezehome in Whitrun has no weapons rack (WHY!!?!?!)

I'm trying to decide if i should have a catchphrase, something like Sneak+Stab=Win. I'm too tired to tell if that's cheesy or not. Good night.