Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-70.116.77.207-20130429054018

OK, so, I know the game came out almost 2 years ago and everyone is over it, but I just have to ask: Does anyone else hate the Forsworn? I mean, deeply, viscerally, personally just hate them? Seriously, I am playing an archer-type right now, who never uses magic except for Shouts, and I paid Falion a FORTUNE to get my Conjuration high enough to cast Bound Bow in Cidnha Mine, just so I could snuff these wads.

I mean, I HATE these guys. I hate their stupid outfits. I hate their stupid hats. I hate the way they festoon every part of their living space, public and private, with nasty severed heads. I hate the perverse, blood-soaked rituals they perform, and I hate the evil freaking hagravens that they learn them from.

And I don't care why they do it, either. I don't care what injustices they suffered in the past, or whatever excuse they have for degenerating into psycho, death-loving savages. I can't believe anyone wants them to be a joinable faction. They have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Everything about these jerks has loser-stink all over it. They lost their land to invaders millenia ago and still can't hold it. They managed to take it back briefly some years before the game starts, because all the Nords left to fight in the Great War, but as soon as the Nords came back, they lost it again. They live like trolls with furniture. They can barely manage to forge iron, for Talos' sake, let alone steel, or even properly tan hides. They have cannon-fodder written all over them. I should be mopping the floor with these nutjobs at first level.

And yet somehow, unbelievably, inexplicably, suspension-of-disbelief destroyingly, they fight like Bruce Lee on angeldust. I mean, what the H-E-double-hockey sticks?!? I am watching my super daedric dragon chopper smack right into their bare flesh, and I might as well be giving them a foot rub. I have to beat them like a freaking drum for ages to get them to drop. Meanwhile, the comically improbable bundles of sticks and bones they keep flailing at me shear through my ebony plate armor like I'm in head-to-toe town-drunk-wear.

And there is no explanation for this anywhere in the game. The witches have the courtesy to cast a spell on themselves to explain their toughness, but the Forsworn can't be bothered. It isn't super-enchanted poorly-tanned hide armor or something, either, because when I finally do kill the suckers the most valuable thing on them is the dozen high-class arrows I shanked them with. I mean, it's not worth the potions. (Why, yes, I DO have twenty copies of The Legend of Red Eagle. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.)

If these cats were really this bad, they'd not only own the Reach, they'd rule Nirn. The Nords would be polishing up the antlers on their stupid little helmets. There should at least be a book out there somewhere, about how they learned martial arts from Kratos, or descended from the last survivor of a doomed planet with a red sun, or SOMETHING. But all the evidence points to them being the last of the Loser Beasts, and then they bust out on you like a T-101.

What's the story? Some developer just needed some evil lulz? Somebody tell Bethesda that irony is better than immersion? A programming error that they are too stuck up to admit?

Or is it just me?

rant/off 