User blog:Madman97/You know what really grinds my Wabbajack's? S2E4: Guards.

Yep, you all knew this was coming for a long time. This is probably the thing that people hate most about Skyrim, and it really shows in all the backlash ranting and youtube comments. Everyone hates it, and you know what? Your favorite Madman hates it too. Since I can't nearly rant about this topic alone, I have invited Dave here with me. Dave, how are you? (Full credit goes to Zippertrain85 for giving me this idea that I already had but he made it official)

Dave: Well, I was doing well before you asked me to rant about this because everyone in the universe has already ranted about everything possible to do with this, and we're really just beating a dead horse.

Madman97: Thank you Dave, I am doing well as well. Without further ado, let's dive right in.

Dave: So, let's start with the subject of the comments of the guards.

Madman97: Lordy Lord. We are really hitting the big topic quite early in the rant, arn't we?

Dave: It's also the only part people want to see in your rants.

Madman97: Oh shush you. Alright, where do we begin. "Arrow to the Knee." "Companion's mead fetcher." "Hail Sithis." I applaude Bethesda for giving the guards many things to say, but...Why are they all mostly negative?

Dave: Yeah, I don't even have to explain as everyone knows if you walk past, the guard's attack you with their mean words. I should name off every single mean quote in the game.

Madman97: No need. I counted. 87 different lines of dialogue that verbally insult you.

Dave: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Madman97: You know, the reason I havn't done this topic in so long, because a lot of people were wondering why I havn't yet, is because the comments that annoy people are really the only thing wrong with them, and there isn't much else. You could bring up their crappy AI, but that really goes for every enemy in the game, or ally, and really, they don't bother me as much as nearly as much as everyone else.

Dave: We still hate them people, don't worry, just not as much as you might.

Madman97: Though this ties in the Lack of Recognition Rant I did, where people take you for granted, while in Oblivion-

Dave: Bless that game.

Madman97:-The guards are honored to speak with the Champion of Cyrodil. The guards in Skyrim, like everyone else, bully the guy who is dressed to the nines in armor made from the bones of dragons and a huge-@$$ sword on his back, glowing with power. I coul kill all of these people in a couple minutes, and everyone really, if it wasn't for that stupid immortal trait some of the important characters have. I wish they still had the Morrowind policy where you could actually kill important characters. It would really add a whole new level of depth to the game.

Dave: All in good time. Now, back to the guards, you really have only one problem with them, and that's the problem everyone has in Skyrim, is just being rude to you, even if it is very unwise of them to mess with you, they are just retarded. More often than not, they will ask you if you lost your sweet roll than praise you for defeating Alduin. The only people who really show you any kind of appreciation is the people in RavenRock in the Dragonborn DLC and the Skaal, which adds an appealing feel to the DLC.

Madman97: And that is the major problem with the game itself. Having people bring you down all the time actually makes the average gamer feel turned off to the game. Not so much, but there is  twinge of dislike in there. The game shouldn't deliberately turn you off to the game. Adding praise and a hint of reverence would add a lot to the game and players would be further appealed to this world. I don't know if Bethesda made them insult you all the time because they were trying to make the whole "Misunderstood hero" story which has bee done in every story ever, or if the AI of the guards, which is quite stupid, is really freaking stupid. But I think people at Bethesda were fed up wit people making complaints, and they just said, "Alright, you insult us, we insult you." The guards are their punishment to the naysayers of Skyrim.

Dave: Yeah, thanks a lot naysayers! Ya douchebags!

Madman97: Hey come on, don't insult them, or were going to get a lot of backlash. I would rather read cheerful comments than angry, which is strange considering we are ranting.

Dave: We are actually suprisingly docile this one, which is strange because people hate this so much.

Madman97: All the ranting power has been drained from this topic, it's just dried out. There isn't anything more we can do with it. I suppose I should sign off now. Sorry to anyone who was expecting a huge blowout rant. This Madman97 and Dave signing off. Stay Ranty.