User blog:ゆ/The Mind of an Idiot on Aurbis, Chapter 1: Nirn

Welcome to the Mind of an Idiot, this is where I try to unravel the mysteries of the Universe off from the top of my memory. Please Enjoy as I forget the spelling of almost every word and just give up.

Chapter 1: Nirn

As I understand it, it resides in a place known as Mundus, which is different from Oblivion and Aethiririririris as it contains this funny thing known as a mortal. As does Aethiriririririririris for that matter but nobody seems to mention that. Anyway, Mundus has a few planets in it, each named after the nine Divines since they are REALLY full of themselves. But then there is Nirn, which is the best one since it has Tamriel on it. Tamriel has had multiple things happen on it over these few eras. Most of it involving death, and more death, and killing. Let's look at what has happened!

Dawn Era:

It was made, that's about it. Oh, and things died.

Mythic Era:

It was another boring era, nothing memorable happened. But, oh wait, there was a lot of death.

1st Era:

Read a book or something. Things died.

2nd Era:

Finally, interesting things, there was a silly ol' Redguard who went to save his sister from a slug man.

The slug man turned out to be linked to a Daedric Prince and then a bunch of rubbish happened. In the end, the silly ol' Redguard rescued his sister's soul and they lived happily ever spoilers.

There was also a Civil War known as the Inter-Graham. There were three sides to it, the Daggerfall Covenant, the Aldmeri Dominion and the Ebonheart Pact. Each of them containing three races who are allied only because of where they are placed on the map. Because that is a solid reason to set up an alliance now. So, yeah, they fought a bunch and the Emperor was changed multiple times during this time. Each of them yelling "L0L N00BS, U SUK!" for some reason. Oh, and a Daedric Prince tried to merge his realm with Tamriel. But he failed. Anyway, it didn't really matter since this man named Tiber Septim decided to go, "Fuck yo war!" and awaken a giant robot while forcing abortions and betraying his allies. He then became Emperor and named the currency after himself to show just how "awesome" he is. For some reason the gods decided that this man is utterly perfect and made him the 9th Divine (Who are literally just the most memorable Aedra). He was then changed his name to Talos, rendering the fact he changed the name of the currency pointless.

3rd Era:

Well, a lot of things happened and is arguable the most interesting era. So let's go through them!

The current Emperor of that time was banished to Oblivion and an imposter took over, so a dead woman decided to send some weird guy on a journey to gather some pieces of staff while they played Hungry Hungry Hungers or something.

Next, a King died and started yelling "VENGEANCE" at random civilians, since he was getting annoying and people were sending in noise complaints they sent a guy to go deal with him, and while he was there he was sent to deliver a letter. So, he dealt with the noisy dead King and messed with a giant robot for no reason which caused a Dragon Break (Now, that's a topic of its own.) and time broke. THE END.

Some time later a prisoner was sent to Morrowind to go become the reincarnation of a saint who was betrayed by the Tribunal back when they were mortal. Because #YOLT. The reincarnation known as the Nerevarine eventually killed some guy who was spreading some Blight and also killed several members of the Tribunal.

Then another Daedric Prince decided to come and invade the world. But then a man turned in to a giant golden dragon so he ended up going back home since the giant golden dragon was blocking the path or something.

And that's the 3rd Era in a nut shell.

4th Era:

A Dragon decided to come and eat dead people as well as alive people. But then a man yelled at him very loudly so he got a head ache and left.

9th Era:

Trees with cannons, more robots, and time travel.

And that's all of Tamriel, I say it's the most interesting era but nothing really happened except people died. Which is very interesting. Apart from Tamriel there are other continents, one is underwater, one is covered in ice, and one is covered in snake men. So I wouldn't really bother with any of them.

That's Nirn as well as Mundus for you, it's boring, don't visit there. Go to Spain or something. By the way, if you're still reading this... Why are you...? Anyway, I might make a chapter 2 and I will do so when I can be assed. Kthxbai.