Balbus

Background
Balbus is a giant testacle.(unknown editor has defaced this page, requesting a team of highly trained monkeys to undo this nonsense.)

Location
Balbus' location is random. He has been found on this locations:


 * North of Riften in the woods, dead, surrounded by a pack of Sabre Cats.
 * Found dead on the road near White River Watch surrounded by Stormcloak and Imperial soldier corpses. A Scavenger is seen nearby who attacks Dragonborn on sight.
 * Balbus' corpse has been found floating down the White River near the Shrine of Talos: White River Valley.
 * Found dead west of Halted Stream Camp. Dead bandits can be found nearby.
 * He has also been found dead on the road leading west from Whiterun, possibly been killed by a Vigilant of Stendarr.
 * Found dead near a Flame Atronach on an un-descript road leading to the Dark Brotherhood sanctuary.
 * Found alive on the road Northeast of Bthardamz.
 * He has also been spotted standing between Gjukar's Monument and Swindler's Den, near a small Shrine of Zenithar.
 * Found southeast of Markarth, due west of Reachwater Rock.
 * Found between Secundus' Shelf and the Western Watchtower near Whiterun, being attacked by a High Elf. He screamed and fled from the High Elf, who attacked the Dragonborn on sight.
 * Found alive northeast of Anise's Cabin near the path up to Bleak Falls Barrow.
 * Next to the other testacle in YOUR SCROTOM!

Inventory
Upon being killed, Balbus usually carries the following items:
 * Balbus's Fork
 * Daedra Heart
 * Gold (septims)
 * Spider Egg
 * Troll Fat
 * Uncommon Taste (book)
 * Hide Boots
 * Hide Bracers
 * Clothes (green)
 * Iron Dagger
 * Semen(unknown editor has defaced this page.... the jerk.)

Behind the Scenes

 * Balbus' appearance is one of the Random encounters that exist throughout Skyrim. After the quest Recipe for Disaster has been completed, the Dragonborn has the option of impersonating the famous Gourmet. If he believes you, (unknown editor defaced page, please lock all access to this article and revise accordingly.)