User blog:ResonX/EPIC RAP BATTLE: Discord Vs. Sheogorath



MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DISCORD…

…VS…

…SHEOoooww– *static*

Ooh, let me just go ahead, laddy.

• Sheogorath: •

Uncle Sheo has the skill for sending shivers to these jams,

So take a helpful hint, resume a stony stasis state and scram!

This hodgepodge against the Madgod? The sod is unworthy!

Oughta tear out his intestines; turn the tracts all topsy–turvy.

Sovereign prince, I reign supreme in much the manner of Celestia.

I'll make your head a trophy; let Relmyna use the rest of ya'.

My Wabbajack'll whack a wacko Jabberwocky clown;

Be crossing me, I guarantee you're going down, down, down!

Ya' know I'm on a sweet roll, and your demise is what I'm stipulating;

Stick a fork in you and Split your sides, with mane horripilating!

Plead insanity, you'll be rejected from my Madhouse,

For I'm the Daedra Hatter; you couldn't even be my Dormouse.

The finest cornerstone of the Tribunal House of Troubles;

Skooma Cat'll channel Sanguine and get you right befuddled!

You'll be left in bloody Shambles, Gnarled coat and colors muted,

While I summon cheese for everyone… your sorry arse excluded.

• Discord: •

Tea's off, Fluttershy, and do avert your precious ears:

I want this bearded bum the only one who's shedding epic tears.

It's time to loose it, ill as Bluest flu and cruel as any Meanie;

Take a page or two from Molag Bal on top a few from Genie.

When I put a hoof down, you'd best prepare to be drained;

I'll see your hail of flaming hounds all choking on some Chocolate Rain!

Your resource is mediocre; I can make a drink a slaughter:

Slit some throats like Jake the Joker with a tiny glass of water.

Everfree–style, hipper than remains of ol' Pelagius;

Penta–barfing out a phrase, and now the chaos is contagious!

Serve a slew of Screwballs until it's your strike three;

I'll leave your Isles looking like some Salvador Dalí.

A chimeric aberrant, inherent merits apparent, I swear it: cherished as the apple of fair Eris' eye.

What you're declaring's incoherent, errors transparently glaring, and just like solving my maze, you know it ain't gonna fly!

• Sheogorath: •

At my Crucible of truth, your Blissful ignorance is snubbed;

A more disastrous Discovery than the seizure of the Hub.

I'm in a righteous rapping Mania, Ti–wrecking scruffy, phony blokes,

Who've dampened their Dementia to reform for fluffy pony folk!

• Discord: •

Oh, Friendship may be Magic, but I'll tell you what else is:

Primal rhyming, spitting diamonds that'll render you helpless!

Yours is dull as clunky boulders, and the contrast's off the charts;

I'll brainwash Rarity, and lo as still she tells our lines apart!

Coldly douse your Flame of Agnon, well and truly to Oblivion,

Then swipe away your staff and hand to you a more befitting one.

• Sheogorath: •

Well, I'll gobble you up like Stanley Grapefruit from Passwall,

Go Rebel Rabbit on my Boot, and shove it up your–

• Haskill: •

Haskill is sorry for the stoppage of your scheduled shenanigans,

But my lord, I fear you ought to know: the Greymarch has began again.

The champion you called's been waiting outside since this morning;

Duel of verse and broken curse: you thought the first was more important?

• Sheogorath: •

Oooh, I really shouldn't have done that! Now my time is running out;

An era over, the return of Order primed to come about.

The crystal forces fast approaching, can't revoke encroaching fate;

I'd say to put on your horse armor, yet already it's too late!

The madness in my mind is going; I can feel it, not a question,

And the lunacies for which I stood, I see now as transgressions,

For my realm, she is dead! Yes, Sheogorath, he is dead,

And all shall crumble now before the power coming in his stead…

*FLASH*

• Jyggalag: •

Stop right there, chaotic scum; you've violated the law!

It's time to see my plane reclaimed; annihilate every flaw.

Big, bad Jyggalag: I bring the Order, straight–up and raw;

Built like a brick house, and wrecking you like one made of straw!

With nigh–omniscience and my triumph preordained,

I cut the wretched Roots of Madness; logicize your loony brain.

Behold this silver sentinel, outshining every Golden Saint!

You know I really take the biscuit; talking broken ones, I ain't.

• Discord: •

There's little fun in making sense, but even less in what you follow,

And for all your Knifepoint threats, the menace posed to me is Hollow,

So to Tartarus with you and all your Fringe idea–preaching!

• Jyggalag: •

Over my cold, severed heart, for Order's sphere is ever–reaching!

Madness fades now from this realm; just ask the Duke, or was it Duchess?

Either way, Equestria is next to fall in crystal clutches.

• Discord: •

That is it! It's time I showed you my true form and full ferocity,

With power to surpass any hot–diggedy monstrosity…

*FLASH*

• Q: •

You surely must have seen this coming, Fluttershy, my friend,

And now, like All Good Things, my time among your kind comes to an end,

And hold it up, did I say all? Well, au contraire, there's one exception:

I, Q, eternal trickster, teaching this grey goon a lesson!

He who longs to conquer sense of self like Borg assimilation

Stands before me now on trial, judged on worth of preservation,

With the verdict clear as futile is his coming and advance:

I shall unweave his Tapestry of being, and grant no second chance!

You've got a Death Wish facing me; you'll end up worse than bloody–nosed!

Can start a war with but a finger–snap; I shatter status quos.

You couldn't even beat my son or that forgotten fop Trelane,

And I'll be Breaking you more Badly than midair–colliding planes!

With nigh–omnipotence, I see through all your high–and–mighty bull:

I'll send your shiny hiney flying; the Worf Effect applies in full.

I needn't go Napoleonic to command a tour de force,

So get this Q–tip through your stuffy ears, and chart a different course.

WHO WON?

WHO'S NEXT?

I DECIDE!!!!!

MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Poll
Who Won? Sheogorath/Jyggalag Discord/Q