Altmer (Daggerfall)

High Elves are a strong and hardy people who enjoy making stew. They are known for inventing items to help open various types of jars and cans. Altmer caused the Oblivion crisis and plan to do it again, along with the return of Faendal, who they believe to be the true High King. They plan to use Faendal's powers of archery and low health to bring Oblivion to Tamriel. Faendal is a Wood Elf archer who lives in Riverwood. He used a girl named Camilla Valerius as a sex slave until she splashed a bowl of hot soup in his face and ran away. Faendal was permanently marked on his face. He planned to hunt her down and cut off her toe so he could give it to the great Shaman of the Giants who promised he could heal his face if he brought him the toe of a "soup-spiller".

Little did Faendal know the Shaman was lying and he only wanted to get the well soup-seasoned toe for his fancy dinner with his friends. His friends were named Scooter and Fluff-Berry-Tusk-Tusk. Scooter was also a Giant. He was the Shaman's advisor. Fluff-Berry-Tusk-Tusk was Scooter's trusty mammoth and the Shaman's formal mating partner/ girlfriend. The reason for the fancy dinner was to impress the bustiest Giant girl in the camp named Gibella. Legend has it that the Goddess, Dibella came down and made herself a giant because she always fantasized about being a Giant and eating mammoth cheese.

Gibella often liked to kill wild deer with the Dovahkiin and teleport him to locations he has already discovered with powers still unknown.

Faendal went into the forest and found Camilla eating the corpse of Isran, the Dawnguard leader. Faendal quickly drew his Wabajack and blasted magic at her. She turned into an Elder Scroll and fell inside of Isran hollowed rib cage. Faendal picked up Isran and walked to the Giant camp.

When Faendal arrived he ripped of Isran's head and put it in his quiver. He then took the Elder Scroll out of Isran's chest and sat on it as if it was a chair. The Elder Scroll quickly morphed into a young girl. Camilla attempted to bite Faendal's toe when he took a knife out of his shoe and slashed off her toe. She screamed in agony as he tea-bagged her. After he was done he walked up to the Shaman and gave him the bloody well-seasoned toe. He took it with a smile on his face. Faendal asked to be healed and the the Giant laughed and simply shouted "GTFO, bro!". Faendal frowned and tried to lunge the knife into the Giants stomach. When the blade hit the Giants stomach it shattered. The shrapnel cut through Faendal's fingers. He fell on the ground and started to crawl towards Camilla. When he reached her he whispered softly in her ear "I'm sorry..."

Camilla turned her head and hit Faendal in the head with a stray chicken that wandered the Giant camp. She then shouted "GTFO, bro!" and flew away. Little did anyone know Camilla was actually Sheogorath, the Daedric Prince of Madness.

Faendal walked away from the camp feeling very sad as the Shaman seduced Gibella.

And that's when it happened. A group of Thalmor spies appeared in front of Faebdal. They told him they needed him to fulfil a proficy. They told him he was the Daedric Prince of all Bros. They said he was known for his manliness and his leadership of all things fairly radical and fun. The Thalmor told him he didn't remember because when Talos ended the Oblivion crisis he cursed Faendal to be a common archer with no memory to live in Skyrim. He also cursed him to have very small genetalia.

The High Elves promised Faendal that if he came with them he could be a God, have his fingers back, have his genetalia restored to it's great former glory, and most of all have his scar removed. Faendal agreed. They took Faendal to the Soul Cairn to perfom the Daedric Prince ritual. They did the ritual and Faendal became once more, the Daedric Prince of the Bros. He was restored to his former glory and began to release Oblivion upon Tamriel.