User blog:Madman97/You know what really grinds my Wabbajack's? Bards.

Hello everyone again, 'tis I, Madman 97, and this is, I think, the very first time I presented myself as my actual username instead of making it sound cooler, so that's cool. Anyway, I am here to rant about yet another subject, something not a lot of people really mind, but being a critic of the highest quality, so high you would think me almost insane, but being not insane, I find that some things just stick out. One of these things are: BARDS.

Alright, this topic really doesn't bother a lot of people. Some people might not even know there is a sort of problem with this. But let me explain why Bethesda should have done this better. Alright, so your in Solitude, looking for new quests, and you visit the Bards College. Once you complete the quest, you become a Bard yourself, even thogh you have never played an instrument and never sings, which is what essentially what a Bard does, so I have no idea how the Dragonborn became one. Then again, I don;t think the Bards had anything valuable to give to te Dragonborn after his or her's quest was done and to appease them they made us one of them in hopes that we wouldn't kill every one of them for not giving us their gold and jewels. I was like, "Alright cool, I am a musician who is so awesome at singing and playing instruments that I don't even have to play, otherwise I would make the other Bards feel jealous!"

Now, after I built my own house, moved in with my family, and hired my own bard, I was like, "Alright! Hot Bard I can look at when Mjoll isn't around! Play me a song so I can make merry and smoke Moon sugar with J'zargo, wench!" Alright, let's see.....like three songs alright!...Heh, wait...Three or four? That's it? Are you sure? Yes? Well, I assumed you were a skilled musician...Just three or four songs...Alright, your fired!

Okay, I went and tested this on the other bards, as I never paid them much attention. Looking back on it, it was dumb hpoing this, but I thought maybe since the culture in each hold is distinct in it's own right, I thought maybe each hold would have a different set of music. Maybe Whiterun would have the traditional Viking rave songs that everyone raises their mugs to, and maybe Solitude would have a more sophisticated set..THE EXACT SAME SONGS!?!?!?!?!?

You know what?! I don't even know why this get's on my nerves. Yeah, they can do instruments solo without lyrics, but it's the same goddang tune! It's catchy at first, and hearing songs sung in your honor is a cool thing. But, at least have six to choose from, not having the same stupid crap that everyone listens to like off of Fred Clause, when all the elves listened to was HERE COMES F-ING SANTA CLAUSE!!! I am sorry that I have to bring Fred Clause to this, but it's a necessar evil! Are these songs really the only songs being sung? Were they written by freaking Sir Justin McDragonF*** McBeaver, with the same repetitive lines that get stuck in people's heads so much, that they go out and take a hundred arrows to the knee to try and forget them!?!?!?! God dang it!

(Sigh) I didn't expect a fully orchesrated John Williams symphony, (The guy who composed for Star wars and a few other very famous things for those who don't know,) and something epic in scale like an opera, though it would be cool, but I expected the Bards to have a little more than three songs up their sleeve. Yeah, some of the tunes like Ragnar the Red are catchy, and the Dragonborn comes always is well appreciated, by me at least, so at least SOME aknowledgement is given of the Dragonborns deeds. (For more on that, see one of my first blogs, The Recognition You Deserve As A Player.) But, they eventually just get boring. I want something new and bold. How about over time, the songs get switched up. It doesn;t have be like thrity songs, but about maybe, let's see here, ten, and three are played at a time, and every few days or so, they get replaced by a new one. Now, sure, it is excellent that there are Bards at all. I find their line of work fastinating as they are also scholarly as well as musicians, but I just want them to do something else. I eventually hired that Bard I fired back again, because Im sure it's not her fault. So essentially, you could say it's not the Bards at all. It's just those stupid songs that play over, and over, and over again. Granted the Bards are probably not the best musicians if all they know are like three songs, but still, it's how they are programmed. Blame Bethesda, not the NPC. However, If I ever find that jerk Sir Justin, I am going to Unrelenting Force him off a cliff.