Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-14011542-20131009214425/@comment-24640703-20141226054503

Name: Golind Wuth Sokriaan

Age: 88

Race: Nord

Class: Incompetent Dragon Priest

Charges:

- Burning down Severio's barn near Whiterun, just to break-in and steal a cart, even though it was just abandoned there.

- Cutting off Gerda with his mule powered cart while giving her the finger, to take her handicap spot near Dragonsreach.

- Panicking and attempting to resist arrest by using his powers to give annoying joint and back pains to the guards, even though they were only going to confront him politely.

- Relieving his bowels in public due to incontinence and stress, after being allowed to slowly run and scream all the way to the marketplace and then stand on top of the town's drinking water well while threatening to destroy everyone if they came after him.

- Kicking a rotten cabbage at Braith 's face and telling her that she's just an unwanted accident by her lowlife mother and her real father Brenuin, while being dragged off to Dragonsreach and leaving a smelly trail behind.

- Shouting his indignation for being imprisoned in the room of a shitty excuse for a pathetic mage far below his quality, and then pissing all over Farengar's unique artefacts and ingredients while laughing and coughing, even though he was just allowed in the court wizard's unlocked quarters to rest and clean himself before the hearing.

- Telling the Jarl that his personal foreigner slave slut should've aborted all three of his little spoiled brats, and then spitting expectoration in Irileth's shoes (mistaking her for Balgruuf's beloved deceased wife), as soon as his hearing started... and ended.

Sentence: "Just put him back on his fkn cart and send him along with the others to the Imperials, so they can fkn euthanise his miserable end of life."