Board Thread:Roleplaying/@comment-24524076-20160803200831/@comment-24524076-20161128203318

Vengarlshand wrote: climb up to the raftors in dragonsreach and poop at people You seem to have misspelled "raptors". It's ok, though, none of the meaning was lost.

Ahem.

''Jabari has been pondering again-- wait, really? DAMMIT! ...oh, he's still insane. Phew. He was thinking long and hard about the Stormcloak revolution. He did generally support it, but something's been nagging at him. Maybe he should consult the Jarl.''

...

''Ugh, another "visitor" to the keep. He seems vaguely familiar; perhaps he was a... janitor? No matter now. He keeps rambling on about fortune-telling, like one of the pickpocketing Khajiit seers who come by from time to time. He does offer it free, though, but only if offered one service:''

"Take every single plate in this palace, and flip them upside-down!"

''Balgruuf doesn't have time for this. Just--''

"I could fetch a few guards to help and do it myself, if you wish."

''Fine, fine. Anything to keep this arse out of his sight for a while.''

''A few hours later, Balgruuf is woken up and DAMN IT ALL, HE FELL ASLEEP AGAIN?! Now that Arcadia works for him, perhaps he should get her to work on that. Anyways... oh. The fortune-teller.''

"The plates have been flipped upside-down. It helps the Feng Shui. Flowing energy, you know."

''Is this idiot an Argonian, too? What a beast of a man, in the worst way.''

"I see... Imperials! Imperials marching on Whiterun, with their dragon shields! Run! Don't accept!"

''Dear God. Dragon shields! The nerve! It's like the sodding things are back to-- oh. Right, um... right. Hey, wait a second, is that man defecating from atop a falcon? Wh-- what? What? What? WHAT? WHAT? WHA''

...

''It seems Balgruuf didn't take the rituals well. At least, that's what the guard who locked Jabari's cell said. "Oh dear," a voice utters in the corner, "more fresh meat."''

As per usual, Don't-Drop-The-Soap gives his new houseguest a warm welcome.