User blog:Madman97/You know what really grinds my Wabbajack's? Season Finale.

Aaaaaaaaaaannnnnnddddd LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THIS SEASON'S FINALE!!! THE RANT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!!! But first, to announce the winner of the guessing contest, Drumroll please!.............NOBODY!!! That's right, no one has guessed correctly the topic for this seasons finale, so therefore, NO ONE GETS THE PRIZE! IF your wondering what the prize is, I might have a guessing contest for that too. But since you guys havn't got it yet, I'll save it for the Season 2 Finale.

But that's not why you are here. You are here to find out what the topic is. Joining me today is my friend Dave, he will be typing on this computer in a discussion-like fassion for your enjoyment. Dave, how are you today?

Dave: I am doing fine Madman97, and it is a wonderful day here ladies and gentlemen in the virtual world, and without further ado, Madman, if you would please start us off.

Madman97: Thank you very much Dave, and now, let's dive right into the Wabbajack Grinding. So, do you wan to know what really grinds my Wabbajacks? You sure you want to know?

Dave: Would you F***ing tell them already?

Madman97: Alright, alright. You know what really grinds my Wabbajacks? Skyrim. Yeah, you heard me. Skyrim. Out of all the things on my rant series, it all comes down to the game itself.

Dave: How do you figure that?

Madman97: What do you mean, "How do I figure that?" I've told you a million times!

Dave: Explain it again for the Audience, Idiot.

MAdman97: Fine fine fine. Alright, people, you have read my rants before. Why would you be reading this one if you havn't? Ive ranted from everything to Recognition you deserve as a player to annoying NPC's like Aerin and the Jarls, with the exceptio of Balgruuf, or however it's freaking spelled. The main issue is, Skyrim has so many problems that are still being patched up, it's just an unpolished game. It's not a finished game. It's incomplete.

Dave: I think they get the idea.

MAdman97: Shush you. I remember for the longest time, for a whole year in fact before they patched it up, I couldn't complete the Civil War quest because my game bugged the F*** out. Or how about your backwards flying dragons Dave? Or your teleporting Falmer?

Dave: That was a weird one, but I've seen weirder things in Skyrim.

Madman97: I know, I sat and watched you on the couch. Remember, when you wouldn't let me play?

Dave: It's not as if it's multiplayer Madman97. Besides, you had the game, you were the first one in town who picked it up!

Madman97: (Grinning) Yes, and I got a collecters coin for it. I still havn't taken it out of it's plastic wrapping.

Dave: Yeah folks, this guy keeps it in his desk.

Madman97: Alright, back to the topic. As I said, all these problems are still part of the game, and they all add up to eachother. I'm not saying Skyrim is a terrible game, quite the opposite. View the rants as critiques for making a better game next time. Now, there are still a lot of problems with Skyrim, I mean, it's a huge game, and I get why some stuff is a bit half-@$$ed, but the stuff that it is just negative towards the overall fun level to the game. How about the redudancy of some major storylines like the civil war? There is no real impact except a bunch of angry men with racist tendencies.

Dave: And yet, you chose the Stormcloaks anyway.

Madman97: Nords for life man. But anyway, I was still holding a grudge against the empire for trying to sacrifice me, so I kind of got with the Stormcloaks early. But anyway, no real impact. This country doesn't look like it's crumbling from civil war. Or how about these stupid tasks people send you to go do, like fetch apples for the little old granny in the woods infested with dragons and werebears, and she stiffs you by giving you maybe a carrot.

Dave: I don't remember that one. But you are right in saying that there are some lackluster quests where it just seems pointless to have, and even if the game is just trying to keep you busy, at least add a level of interest to the miscellaneous quests so the game is actually FUN to play while doing them, instead of coming off as tedious.

Madman97: And speaking about level of interest, how about the government in Skyrim? There's civil war going on, the dragons have returned, it's ripe for backstabbing and scheming Jarls instead of just Ulfic being a general douche to everyone. Why not see a little Game of Thrones action in this game?

Dave: That's the thing with the Elder Scrolls. I've never got why it has a Mature rating when the only gore you see is maybe when you cut off someone's head, and that doesn't really happen often. There's nothing really extrememly mature in this game that other smaller kids cannot already see. By adding a Game of Thrones factor, it would be a Mature game. The game needs some Game of Thrones because the setting is just right. In fact, it's the exact same premise. For people who have watched Game of Thrones, the country, the North of Tamriel, is at war with the Empire, based in Cyrodil, The South essentially, at least until the Rains of Castemere-

Madman97: F*** that episode-

Dave: -and the dragons have returned. It's ripe for conspiracy. You did a rant on the Jars about this didn't you?

Madman97: I most certainly did. Whats-her-name Law-Giver would have been perfect. Black Briar would have been perfect. But a lot of Skyrim is wasted oppurtunity. This game is great, it's one of the defining games in Gaming history, but an element of ACTUAL MEDIEVAL POLITICS would make it so much better. What Medieval ruler would be so willing as to let Ulfric just waltz up to the King and kill him, and then don't react to it at all, and later join him for no apparent reason.

Dave: Well that's not true, all the Jarls have at least some reason on picking a side.

Madman97: Alright, I guess so, but still, Skyrim, along with the bugs, is a wasted oppurtunity to make a true storytelling masterpiece.

Dave: Well the Elder Scrolls have always had a bit of a straight-forward story. You know, there's the dragons. Go beat em up.Younger kids probably wouldn't be able to follow a complicated story like Skyrim Game of Thrones. We barely understand Game of Thrones anyway.

Madman97: Stop being such a Joffrey to little kids. I think they could follow just fine. After all, they deal with things like the lore, if that's not already complicated, like Lorkhan and the Creation of Nirn, and the Kahjiit mythology. I guess the Elder Scrolls are complicated and a good story with a well established lore in place.

Dave: I really doubt that the younger kids are interested in all that stuff. Every little kid I see who hasn't played Skyrim is obsessed with Call of Duty and the term Noob, and those who have played it really only care about having better armor than there friends, and if they somehow aquire Daedric armor, which for us, has become the easiest thing in the world, but for them, if they got it before their friends did, they were the king of Skyrim, and they would never let you tell them different. I guess that's good for self confidence I guess, but I really doubt they care about the actual Lore behind this as we do. I don't see them creating theories about the Daedra and Jyggalag.

Madman97: Reminder to the audience, I recently made a new theory blog about Jyggalag, check it out.

Dave: Stop advertising, were here on business. I have to get going soon anyway. And-Why did you just turn on Motley Crue?

Madman97: It's good ranting music. What else is there. Ah yeah. The children.

Dave: Oh my God, stop beating a dead horse! We hate the children, we get it. Besides the children arn't that bad. We just hate them all because of Braith.

Madman97: Still, until the Hearthfire DLC, is that what it's called? Whatever, until that, the children are all just D***'s to you. How about Balgruuf's kid? He wasn't very nice.

Dave: It would make sense for him to talk down to you, being te Jarl's kid ad all, but the other kids are about as clueless as the guards in Skyrim. People may argue that kids were like that at that time, but no, no they were not. Children knew to respect adults, not talk down to them. They would have gotten their fingers cut off if they talked back to their parents in those days. But these kids just go on and on. Granted, there's only like three children to a hold, with Riften having the largest because of the orphanage, but they are all annoying. Until the little orphans on the street who are all sad and S*** because they lost their parents and want to give you flowers come along, there is no chance of redemption for these kids. It's a virtual game! There not going to change the personality around.

Madman97: I could go on and on about the guards in Skyrim, but that is also a dead horse that people have torn apart and eaten, so I am just going to leave that one alone.

Dave: One person on your guessing list suggested that the topic was Lack of Calipers ad Tongs.

Madman97: Yeah, I noticed. You know in a way, they are all right, since these things that are wrong are directly attrbuted to the game, so if you guessed people in the audience, you are right, just not completly right. You would need to say everything that was ever wrong with this game ever, or you could have just said Skyrim, that works too. But yeah, Calipers and Tongs, those were a HUGE PART OF THE ELDER SCROLLS!!! HOW Dare they take them out!

Dave: (Laughing) There is a theory under that one where someone said that Sheogorath got fed up with finding them for this one gy and just made them dissapear. I actually think that's what probably happened.

Madman97: Yeah, probably. Someone guessed Lack of Magic spells, but I GUESS THEY HAVN'T READ MY EARLIER BLOG ABOUT MAGIC!!!

Dave: Oh cry me a river. Until you came up with the title of the series, hardly anyone ever paid attention to you.

Madman97: Yeah, and now three of the four most popular blog spots are mine, so suck on that. (Laughs)

Dave: That was dissapointing though. Lack of spells I mean. Because the higher level spells in this game look incredible, makes you feel like you are a pretty powerful individual. If I could ask for anything, it would obviously be MORE spells instead of your basic, Destruction, Alteration, Conjuration, ect, but also different animations for the Master Magic spells in each category, like Destruction magic spells like Fire Storm or Lightning Storm have one animation and Mass Paralyze or Dragon armor have a different animation. It would add a little variety, and most people don't pay attention to tiny details like this, but it would add a pinch of depth to the game in ways I don't think most people would realize that this would make a better game. Alo, creating spells would have been fantastic too. I don't know who in Bethesda suggested they take them out, but I think I am going to have a little chat with him.

Madman97: They brought in some new spells with Ash and stuff and new Rune Spells like Poison and Frenzy in the Dragonborn DLC, even though our enemies are now so high leveled that the runes are freaking useless anyway, plus who ever uses the Rune spells? I never do.

Dave: Yeah, but your spell list you do consists of just Lightning Bolt. This is his strategy folks. He has the stammer perk on Destruction that when he puts his hand together to combine the lightning bolt spell into a powerful version of it, it stammers any target if it hits, and he just blasts them with lightning and they can't move because they keep getting pushed around until they disintegrate. It works on dragons too. He just Dragonrends them, and then blasts them silly.

Madman97: Well, no, it doesnt always work like that. What really got me through most of the game was the Sanguine Rose. That thing is the most useful Daedric Artifact ever. I do like the Wabbajack, but I never use it anymore because of all the random crap that happens with it, and mostly it doesn't turn out well for me. Whenever I hit someone with it turned them into a freaking dremora, and at the time of use I was pretty low levelwise, so I had to run away half the time, and the only good thing that ever happened while using it was when I was at the War room with Ulfric and we were about to kill general Tullius, and I wabbajacked him into a pile of coins which I spent on moon sugar and skooma, but the Sanguine Rose was perfect. It basically throws cannon fodder at the enemy, powerful cannon fodder which is a nice bonus, and if the dremora isn't killing them, he distracts the enemy, which was freaking useful as all get out, and I just blast them with lightning like a true mage.

Dave: Yeah, I remember that was the very first thing we wanted to go see. The college at Winterhold. We kept hearing that "OH, the Mages College, OH learn untold power there!" And we were like, heck yeah, let's go. Really, the only spells we learned there are the very first atronach spell we learned, the ward spell, and eventually when we got high enough destruction level, the master destruction spells and the other ones too.

MAdman97: But yeah, were getting off topic again, the MAGIC IS TOO LITTLE IN SKYRIM. IT SUCKS!!! The dlcs brought to little magic.

Dave: Oh lord, the DLCS.

Madman97: What? The Dlcs were cool! People say they hated Dawnguard, I thought it was cool. The forgotten vale blew me away. No one ever mentioned the forgotten vale and you actually being able to meet a snow elf, which is a pretty big freaking deal in Tamriel since they are genrally believed to be wiped out.

Dave: It's not that they were bad, it's just that they brought too little I think too. You don't get much reward for anything you do, another thing I think you have ranted about, and sure you get to hang with the dawnguard or vampires depending on your side of choice, and the vampiric powers are cool for a time, but we cured ourselves of lycanthropy and vampirism because it eventually just got boring. We never used our powers and the Vampirism was only to enter Soul Cairn, and the negative effects were just enough t turn me off to it, even if they did add skill trees. In Dragonborn, you get a little more recognition for your deeds, something I like to see, and I always thought RavenRock was this fascinating place with a fascinating culture. But again, there is too little. You can get to a point where there is nothing left to do in Solstheim, appealing as it is, and it sucks, because I like Solstheim. Always have. And then I come to the next point. Skyrim gets boring if you have played it for two years straight. The magic of it simply does not exist anymore.

Madman97: I admit, I havn't actually played Skyrim for about half a month now. I do like going on Oblivion sometimes, but I really ran out of things to do there too. I remember Skyrim being the first elder scrolls game I have played, with Oblivion being the second because I wanted to see if it was up to Skyrims standards at that time, and it was, more so in some points, like the Shivering Isles DLC which was just F***ing awesome, you actually feel like you have accomplished something and you get a real well deserved reward for once, but anyway, Skyrim at first was my life. I was like, screw social life, why interact with real people when you can interact with annoying NPCs? (Laughs) Yeah, but this whole new world for me to explore was just awesome. My brother actually wanted the game so muh he kept stealing it from me. But then, two years later, Ive seen all this before, Im really just counting down the days to ESO.

Dave: Yeah, for people who have really played the game to death, we need a little something moe to satiate our thirst for adventure, but then I guess Betheda was tired of tending to Skyrim, so they gave us the middle finger and said "No more DLCS!" And I was like, "This is BS. Solstheim leaves you with a simple desire for more than this. This doesn't seem like it wraps up te Dragonborn story at all! What they should have done is give you some kind of Apocrypha themed palace or something. I know, it would have been the same reward as Shivering Isles, but since Mora has a really cool design in architecture and stuff like that, that has the pottential of making a really cool castle, one that is completly your own, located in a realm hardly anyone can get to easily, and Solstheim is unique enough in it's own right to be seperate from the Shivering Isles. The Dragonborn DLC wraps up nothing, and we need one final DLC to clear up the story, and personally, I want it to take place in Elswyer. I always wanted to see a kind of desert setting and the Kahjiit culture, because it's practically nonexistent in Skyrim with the exception of J'zargo, who is the most awesome follower ever, and that trading caravan that wanders to outside hold to hold, and Kahjiit are just so fadcinating to me and I really want to see more of them. I wish they had more cultures other than just Nord in Skyrim. In Cyrodil, you got a taste of culture in the different towns. In the north had a splash of Skyrim and nordic architecture, featurning those cozy looking log home decorated with runic symbols, and in Anvil you got those summer homes with the tile roofs and an all around gorgeous town, and the others having their own style and layout, the cathedrals being the only same thing, but differnt gods its dedicated too. Skyrim doen't have that. It's just NORD NORD NORD. Solitude is the only town that look at least half like a medieval city, while all the others look like knock off Rohan villages off of Lord of the Rings, with Whiterun being a straight-up ripoff.

Madman97: Well, keep dreaming, because it's not going to get any better. But you make a fair point, There should be DlCs. Look at Fallout New vegas and Fallout 3, yeah I also played them in that order. For some reason, I keep playing the new ones then go back to the old ones. But anyway, they had like for full sized DLC's each/ What made them so freaking special Bethesda? I mean, yeah, there freaking great, but why doesn't Skyrim get four DLC's? HEarthfire was NOT A DLC. GET THAT? HEARTHFIRE WAS NOT A DLC. It was a build your own house mod, with the bonus of being able to adopt kids because the Dragonborn is sterile for some reason, it was not a dlc. There are only two DLCS in Skyrim, and an accesory mod. That's it. New Vegas had Honest Hearts, That first DLC that NO ONE LIKES, The Big M.T., and Lonesome road, three out of four of those were freaking masterpieces, Big M.T. being my favorite, and Skyrim gets stuck wit these two. Granted the Dlcs arn't bad, but there not good enough to wrap up the dragonborn's story. But, the rant is about Skyrim, so let's get back to it.

Dave: One thing you mentioned is that the Holds are lackluster in some parts as well. I remember reading your rant about Falkreath, which a lot of people said they actually like Falkreath. Granted, most of them said it was the peaceful wooden setting that made them like it, but some still think the town is total S***. Which I agree. I do like your analogy for it, One big giant Saw mill. And those things are really freaking useless and boring to do. Yeah, it adds a little cosmetics to a hold but not really. Why don't I see a stone mason, a carpenter. If Bethesda wants to do a community, they gotta do it all the way.

Madman97: Actually, you got it right there, Dave. That is what really grind my Wabbajacks. That is Skyrim's number one problem. They didn't do it all the way, and that goes for the entire game. Sure, the game is great, and once the patches are up, it's actually playable. It's a world unlike any other and there is two years worth of advenutre to be found. But Bethesda doesn't do EVERYTHING IT CAN to make this the adventure of a lifetime. I said it before, and I will say it again. Skyrim is a waste of true adventure potential. Everything that is done in this game can be done a heck of a lot better. While it shouldn't be a rip off Game of Thrones, they should borrow some elements from those books and show to spice up the Civil War, which is the second biggest thing going on besides the Dragons returning that everyone is involved and invested in, the Jarls are lack-luster, coming off not as rulers who would do anything to keep their place in power, but just kind of douchy, Balgruuf being the exception, and they never do anything, the Children are annoying as F***, there is no variety to magic, the storytelling NEEDS GAME OF THRONES, the guards need more dialogue, the people should give you more recognition for your deeds, (You got a freaking statue in Bruma!), THE HOLDS NEEDS TO STOP SUCKING, THE AI FOR ENEMIES NEEDS TO IMPROVE, ESPECIALLY FOR DRAGONS, DRAGON RIDING NEEDS TO BE IMPORVED, THERE NEEDS TO BE MORE DLCS IN THE NEXT GAME THAN JUST TWO, AND SKYRIM REALLY NEEDS TO GET IT'S ACT TOGETHER!!!

(Sigh) But I love Skyrim.

Dave: We all do. Skyrim s a game unlike any other, and like every other game, it has it's flaws, but Bethesda really could do a better job. The place is gorgeous, and the story is actually well written, but to make a masterpiece, you need some spice here and there, otherwise we will get bored of it.

Madman97: And that is why Skyrim grinds my Wabbajacks. Dave, thank you for coming, and thank you audience for reading. This is the end of Season 1 for "You know what really grinds my Wabbajacks?" and  I will see you all in season 2.

Stay Mad and Ranty.