M'aiq the Liar (Morrowind)

M'aiq is a Khajiit who resides on a small island northwest of Dagon Fel, and is motionless. He lies about nearly everything, an exception being the Lost Shrine of Boethiah. His directions to it, though, are not so helpful (instead, try swimming west from Hla Oad, and look down to begin the search for the lost shrine). Another exception is the Mudcrab Merchant. (Head to the Mzahnch Ruin. Search around for a small island, where the merchant is. He'll buy anything from the Nerevarine at full price.)

Quotes

 * "Greetings! M'aiq knows many things. What is your interest? You seek knowledge. M'aiq has much. Some of it verified by actual facts!"
 * Liches: "You wish to become a lich? It's very easy, my friend. Simply find the heart of a lich, combine it with the tongue of a dragon, and cook it with the flesh of a well-ridden horse. This combination is certain to make you undead." 
 * Dragons: "Dragons? Oh, they're everywhere! You must fly very high to see most of them, though. The ones nearer the ground are very hard to see, being invisible."
 * Emperor Crabs: "M'aiq sees lots of them in the ocean. M'aiq knows you'll see one too if you swim far enough."
 * Horses: "Horses.... Oh, M'aiq loves horses! Especially with good cream sauce." also "You would wish to ride upon a beast? There is a way... Go to one of the many silt-strider ports and pay your fee! You wish one for personal use? Bah! Walk if you must; run if you are chased!"
 * Corpses: "Moving corpses? This sounds frightening to M'aiq. The undead are nothing to be toyed with."
 * Multiplayer: "M'aiq does not know this word. You wish others to help you in your quest? Coward! If you must, search for the Argonian Im-Leet, or perhaps the big Nord, Rolf the Uber. They will certainly wish to join you."
 * Dwemer: "There is no mystery. M'aiq knows all. The dwarves were here, and now they are not! They were very short folk... Or perhaps they were not. It all depends on your perspective. I'm sure they thought they were about the right height."
 * Naked Liches: "A horrible thing indeed. If you see one, let M'aiq know. M'aiq wants to make sure to look in the other direction."
 * Nudity: "Ahh... The beauty of the naked form. These Dunmer are rather prudish, are they not? Of course, there is an island you can reach filled with wonderful, naked, glistening bodies. It only appears when the moons are full, the rain falls, the seas run red, and it's M'aiq's birthday."
 * Climbing: "Climbing ropes that hang is too difficult. M'aiq prefers to climb the ones that are tied horizontally."
 * Shrine of Boethiah: "You seek the shrine that is no longer there? An interesting concept. Look to the seas to the West. There lies what was once the shrine. Take a deep breath and begin your search."
 * Mudcrab Merchant: "M'aiq has heard of this. They've got all the money. Mudcrabs taking over everything. They already run Pelagiad."
 * Weresharks: "I have only met one, but he was afraid of the water."