Board Thread:Roleplaying/@comment-24524076-20160803200831/@comment-24524076-20160905200409

''Weylin M.C. Hammer-slides his way over to the entrance to Cidnha Mine. After some shimmying and the breakdown to "Thriller", he claims he's a doctor, while dabbling in traditional Nordic tap. Upon being asked to show qualifications, he pulls a dagger from a firkin of mead and slices his right hand clean off. The guard quickly calls for assistance in dealing with this obviously insane person, as Weylin stops dancing and collapses to the ground, partly due to not needing to tame the hand, and partly due to shock and extensive blood loss. The guard and her new backup run to his aid, but by the time they arrive his heartbeat has been stilled, and his skin paled. The new arrival simply kneels down, shakes his head, and begins plucking the fine rings from Weylin's lifeless fingers. 'These ought to be worth a Giant's Toe', he thinks to himself, heading towards The Hag's Cure. His renown as a mighty warrior is well known in Whiter--''

HELLO! You sorry saps may know me as the mighty SHEOGORATH! My job around here is to make people go skeever-brained. I think. Even if it isn't, it's a hell of a fun time! Anyways, I noticed your little snafu there with Nazeem. Damn shame, too, he seemed ripe for the picking. I was just thinking in my head how magnificent it would be if he were just a little bit MORE off his handle! Regardless, he's not why I'm here. Well, actually, he is, but there's something that happened in the meantime that I find more important. Faralda! The Altmer! You fools let her SLIP AWAY from MY GRASP! And so, you shall be punished. I will occasionally wrest control from ALL OF YOU, and assert my dominance in the story! This will certainly add an extra layer of unpredicability, because frankly, this has stopped being amusing. Good luck, you damned fools, your next vessel is pretty far over the hills and through the woods! Get there by nightfall.

''Uh... um. That's... not good. Anyways, as the sun sets over Tamriel, a scream rings out against the granite walls of Windhelm. A notorious murderer has--''

This is much too flowery. Just cut to the point-- and one not in Windhelm. We've seen too much of that damned place. How about that explorer approaching the peak of the Throat of the World?

''Err... ok? But what traumatic event could possibly break his mind to the point of insanity...''

You want a TRAUMATIC EVENT?! I smite him in his temples with the Wabbajack. Now come on, you pasty pastry of a quill mover! Get to work on it!

''Okay. Alright, fine. Erling Far-Fallen, a Nord noble, has--''

Yes, yes, he's insane. We get it.