User blog:DubiousPeddler/Fishy on: The Tribunal

So, as many of you know, there is this thing called the Tribunal. It's a complicated thing, so let's get a bit more in depth with it.

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there was this dwarf guy who's name I forgot. I think it was Gimli or Thorin, or something similar. We'll call him Gimrin for now. So, one day Gimrin was taking a walk in his private volcano that he brought in an auction on Beezid.com for 10% of what it's worth. The volcano was located in Gardensmell as mentioned in a previous blog. Anyways, Gimrin tripped over his beard and fell into a pit and couldn't belive what he saw. It was the liver of Porkhan, kicked into the volcano by Pear-iel! Gimrin was like:

"I do believe that tapping into the liver of this deity shall grant me enough energy to power the automaton known as Megatron." As he smoked his pipe, and donned his monocle and top hat.

Gimrin decided to buy some tools at his local Home Depot, or Cyrodillic Tire or something. Anyways, he wanted to use the tools to somehow, in ways you do not want to know, tap into the liver's power. It's scientifically proven that the liver of a god contains unimaginable power. So, while Gimrin was about to tap into the liver, they all instantly died of a plague that made their bodies vanish at the exact same time.

Later, these guys named Dare-Goth UGH!, Nerevar, Alex-mah-Lexi, Vivhick, and Soothing Silo, who were all a species of Mer known as Chimer, walked into the volcano because YOLO. Inside, they found the liver of Porkhan and Gimrin's tools. Nerevar was all like:

"I vow 2 Azura 2 nerevar use these tools 2 torn mahself into gawd. Dare-Goth UGH!, plz dafand dem plzz."

Dare-Goth UGH! instantly followed orders but fell asleep on the job in about two seconds. The other three decided to use this chance to jump Nerevar. Nerevar was all like:

"Gaiz, y u do dis?"

Vichick stepped forward and shook his head evily.

"Y'all still dun see da truth, do ya?  Ya see, buckaroo, we don't give a god diggity about Azura and want to use them new fangled tools of them dwarf folk to become gods ourselves, YEE-HA!"

Nerevar looked to Soothin Silo with a face screaming PLZ. Soothing Silo was all like.

"I am quite sorry for this Nerevar, but I do believe that this is quite mandatory and must be done for the good of the Chimer."

Nerevar finally looked to Alex-mah-Lexi, hoping that he could rely on her. Alex-mah-Lexi was all like.

"Yo homie, I dun have anythin' against ya brah, an' I mean dat fo' rizzles, fo' nizzles, bro. I jus' wanna become top dog 'round these parts, know what I'm sayin' dog? Now stay still while I shank ya."

And with that, Nerevar was shanked and the three of them became gods and called themselves the Triforce or something. Vivhick owned the Triforce of courage, Alex-Mah-Lexi had the Triforce of wisdom, and and Soothing Slio had the Triforce of Power. Alex-mah-Lexi looked towards Soothing Silo and was like:

"Yo, Lex, you can't tell anyone 'bout that, know what I'm sayin' dawg? Deny Nerevar even exists, homie."

Soothing Silo smiled and looked to Alex. He was like:

"Nerevar?" Silo put on some sunglasses. "Why, I've Nerevar heard of him. YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

Azura was flippin' furious and was all like:

"I dun liek u. I toorn ur peple 2 purrppl sken and red i's, lelz."

They lived a happy and peaceful life afterwards, Vichick even wrote a book called "36 Shades of Vichick" or something. Later, Nerevar got reincarnated into another person and went to the same volcano, where Dare-Goth UGH! finally woke up and was like:

"Master, I guarded the tools like you asked."

Nerevar was like:

"Nop, fuk of Degeth."

And kicked him into a well.

Well, thanks for reading! Stay tuned for the next episode.