The Lusty Argonian Maid

Summary

 * Full title: The Lusty Argonian Maid (In Skyrim: The Lusty Argonian Maid Volume 2)The_lusty_argonian_maid,_vol._1.jpg
 * Author: Crassius Curio (a character from The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind)
 * Value: 19 (Skyrim: 14)
 * Weight:1

Known Locations (Morrowind)

 * Morrowind

Known Locations (Oblivion)

 * Leyawiin in Southern Books.
 * Imperial City, found on the body of Gaston Tussaud.
 * Cheydinhal, the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary. Ocheeva owns a copy. Amusing, considering she is in fact an Argonian.
 * Deepscorn Hollow, next to the bed of the Dark Minion.
 * Gweden Farm, basement in the sleeping area.
 * Bliss, close to the entrance gate.
 * Imperial City Waterfront by the Pirates

Known Locations (Skyrim)

 * Honningbrew Meadery, next to the bed in the loft floor (Volume 2).
 * Haelga's Bunkhouse (Riften), left of the alter of Dibella on the bedstand in Haelga's room (Volumes 1/2).
 * In a crushed house across the river from the Abandoned Prison. Next to the body of Lucky Lorenz.
 * Winterhold Jarl's Longhouse, in a room on the second floor.
 * Riftweald Manor, located in the basement
 * College of Winterhold Library, in a stack of books. You have to search for it, but it's there.
 * Driftshade Refuge (Silver Hand hideout), on a bookshelf
 * Highmoon Hall (Morthal) Underneath Joric's Bed.
 * In the bottom of Mercer Frey's house.

Contents
Act IV, Scene III, continued

Lifts-Her-Tail: Certainly not, kind sir! I am here but to clean your chambers.

Crantius Colto: Is that all you have come here for, little one? My chambers?

Lifts-Her-Tail: I have no idea what it is you imply, master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.

Crantius Colto: So you are, my dumpling. And a good one at that. Such strong legs and shapely tail.

Lifts-Her-Tail: You embarrass me, sir!

Crantius Colto: Fear not. You are safe here with me.

Lifts-Her-Tail: I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not!

Crantius Colto: Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here. Polish my spear.

Lifts-Her-Tail: But it is huge! It could take me all night!

Crantius Colto: Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

END OF ACT IV, SCENE III

Volume 2
Act VII, Scene II, Continued

Lifts-Her-Tail: My goodness, that's quite a loaf! But how ever shall it fit my oven?

Crantius Colto: This loaf isn't ready for baking, my sweet. It has yet to rise.

Lifts-Her-Tail: If only we could hurry that along. How would I accomplish such a task?

Crantius Colto: Oh, my foolish little Argonian maid, you must use your hands.

Lifts-Her-Tail: You wish me to knead the loaf? Here?

Crantius Colto: Of course.

Lifts-Her-Tail: But what if the mistress catches me? Your loaf was meant to satisfy her appetite.

Crantius Colto: Don't fret, my delicate flower. I'll satisfy the mistress' cravings later.

Lifts-Her-Tail: Very well, but I'm afraid my oven isn't hot enough. It could take hours!

Crantius Colto: Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

End of Act VII, Scene II

Appearances

 * The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
 * The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
 * The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim