Board Thread:Roleplaying/@comment-24141785-20140201133112/@comment-24148289-20140205192320

(Bow down to the 1,186 words of glory! Not really)

Name: Hilvid Windcaller

Gender: Male

Race: Nord

Class: Brute

Armour: Steel

Weaponry: Steel Warhammer

Backstory: As a 6 year old, Hilvid discovered alcohol. Ever since then he's been a fucked up drunk. He'd also be a drug addict, but these aren't invented yet. He hates his family, he hates his friends, he hates people in general. He likes dogs though. And squirrels. Not really. But he does like dogs. When his father died from a Redwater Skooma overdose, Hilvid drank the leftovers. He then became a Skooma addict. He also hates snow, he hates the sun, he hates warmth. He hates the weather. He literally hates everything. He moved to Windhelm when there was nothing more to hate in Whiterun, and stayed there ever since.

It was a snowy day in Windhelm, and Hilvid was drinking away in Candlehearth hall, drunk. But he didn't care. He continued to sing, even though he hates singing.

"We'll drive out the Shtormcloaks! And restore what we own! Like Imperial Towelettes..." Hilvid sang. Lots of Stormcloak soldiers and supporters turned his way.

"I don't care if you're drunk or not, you don't sing about us like that!" a Stormcloak soldier boomed.

"They make me feel so CLEAN! I love, LOVE! MOIST TOWELETTES!" Hilvid continued.

"That's an improvement..." the soldier said, confused at what the Nord was going on about. Hilvid stopped singing and sat back at the bar, demanding another drink.

"Got any skooma?" he asked.

"Excuse me sir?" the innkeeper exclaimed.

"Skooma, got any?"

"I'm afraid we don't sell that, sir."

"You dont...You don't..." Hilvid stuggled to say. "You're telling me...that this is a 5 star resort...and you don't sell any...FUCKING SKOOMA!?" the Nord shrieked.

"Sir, this is not a 5 star resort!" the female bartender shrieked back, getting very nervous. "And no, we don't sell any fucking skooma! Now would you like some ale?"

"Sure..." Hilvid whispered after a moment of staring into her eyes. The bartender swiftly started to get the drink as Hilvid continued to stare. She handed him the drink and he took a sip.

"This...This..." Hilved whispered

"This?" The bartender asked.

"THIS IS AWFUL!" The nord screamed as he picked it up and launched it at the wall. He got up and stomped towards the doors, kicking them open, seeing the snow.

"IT'S SNOWING TOO. AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU, YOU, YOU BITCH!" Hilvid slurred as he slammed the doors shut. He woke up lots of people during this scene, including Tobias. Tobias was the only one who was actually man enough to come downstairs from his room and confront him in his panties.

"Why, are you, SHOUTING!" Tobias shouted.

"NO! WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING!" the Nord countered.

"I'm SHOUTING, because YOU'RE SHOUTING!"

"Let's just talk normally" Hilvid whispered.

"You think it's normal, to throw glasses at walls and make a scene because an inn doesn't have Skooma?"

"Well, you should've been sleeping instead of listening!"

"Yeah, you're right, I should've been sleeping. But I couldn't, because some bloody Brute was flipping his shit at the fact that he couldn't have Skooma!"

"Who was that?" Hilvid asked, confused at what the Imperial was talking about.

"You really do have the memory span of a retarded goldfish don't you..." Tobias sighed

"I don't!" Hilvid screeched."

"Your a dim-witted, stupid, dopey pinhead!" Tobias yelled, getting very frustrated

"Who you callin' pinhead?" the Nord asked. With that, Tobias punched the Nord in the face and threw him into the snow. "I'm calling you a pinhead you fucking idiot!"

"I HATE THE SNOW!" Hilvid squawked, wildly trying to free himself.

"Here let me help-"

"NO! I can do this!" Hilvid refused, as he continued to flop about in the snow. Tobias walked up and pulled him out, with Hilvids response being a punch in the face.

"That's revenge, BIATCH!"

Tobias continued to look away. "Awwwww heel naw!" Tobias shouted, as he hit Hilvid with a right hook. "Come on you drunk pussy, fight me!" he laughed as he watched the Nord struggle to reach his feet. "You call yourself a Nord?"

"I don't call myself a Nord, I was made one" Hilvid slurred.

"Maybe you should fight me when you're sober" Tobias sighed.

"No, that can be the rematch..." the Nord replied, uppercutting Tobias, surprising him as he lay on the ground, looking up at the sky.

"Damn, you may be drunk but you're ready aren't you" Tobias chuckled, continueing to lay on the floor.

"Obviously, I'm not just going to sit back" he said as he stomped on Tobias.

"Motherfucker COME HERE!" Tobias boomed, angry now. The Nord tried turning round and running away but Tobias grabbed him and pulled him back towards the ground. "Awww, the drunk fuck is trying to run away" Tobias chuckled as he started to continuously stomp on Hilvid. Hilvid responded with a punch to Tobias' private area, where only he and women are allowed to touch. Hilvid tried to get up after this, but Tobias karate kicked his ass back to the ground.

"Aren't you cold?" Hilvid asked, out of nowhere. "I mean, you're in your panties"

"Please, I've lived in Windhelm almost all my life, I don't care"

Tobias went to grab the Nord and tried to lift him, suddenly realising the weight of Hilvid. Hilvid used Tobias' struggle to lift him up as an advantage to take control of the fight. He grabbed Tobias and flipped him over him, using his brute strength. He then lifted Tobias up easily, and threw him through the doors of Candlehearth hall. The customers were in shock as they saw the Imperial fly through the doors and the Nord stomp behind him, picking him up again.

"When it comes to strength, I win everytime boy" Hilvid laughed. "Excuse me!" he shouted as he cleared the drinks off a table. He then proceeded to launch Tobias from the doors through the table. He succeeded as Tobias' back was covered in splinters and he rolled around in pain. Hilvid was about to pick up Tobias again until a group of Stormcloak soldiers left their tables and grabbed both Hilvid and Tobias.

"What are you doing?" Hilvid slurred. "LET GO OF ME!"

"Excuse me soldiers, I am a Stormcloak soldier! Unhand me at once!" Tobias exclaimed.

"Well you're not in your uniform, so you can't prove that." a soldier replied.

"I-I-I can take you up to my room and show you!"

"I'm afraid there's no time for that" the soldier lied, hoping to arrest someone today.

"B-b-b-but come on!"

"SILENCE! You're going to jail, deal with it. And you're sharing the same cell."

"What? Fuck off I'm not sharing the same cell as him!" Tobias exclaimed.

"I SAID SILENCE! And don't talk back to a soldier!"

With that, Tobias stopped trying and let the men take him to the cell. It took a few men to get the Nord up and stop him from staggering but they succeeded in the end, as they were both thrown into the same cell.

"Hey, uh, do we share the same shower aswell? And do you have any soap?"