- "So you're a Psijic now, eh? I'd keep that to yourself, mate. If people find out, it'll be nothing but "negotiate this treaty!" and "settle this matter of succession!" and "what fork should I use for salad?""
- "Be honest—do you ever wish we hadn't broken the Staff of Towers? Just imagine a world of non-linear time! Wait, is your nose bleeding? All right, stop imagining a world of non-linear time."
- "Hey, do you want to know how to say hello in my native language? All right, mate. All you'll need is a conch shell, six friends, a harp with forty strings, and a newborn calf. I'll wait."
- "I've got to admit, I'm a little thrown off by the aesthetic, mate. No un-paintings, less than a thousand angles, hardly any transliminal spheroids…. I don't know. I'd give it a soft "adequate.""
- "Do you smell something? Something smells … yellow. Not hiding any ducklings around here [sic] [Do not change this to here, as this missing or superfluous punctuation is how it appears in-game.] are you? Duck feet are hideous, mate. Hideous!"
- "You know I can see time in all directions? I see you as you are now, as you were before you were born, and as you'll be after you're dead all at once! You're an adorable baby, mate. Less charming as a corpse."
- "You don't have any beavers wandering around in here, don't you? You know how I feel about beavers."
- "You're not going to use me as a paperweight [sic] [Do not change this to paperweight, as this missing or superfluous punctuation is how it appears in-game.] are you? What's that all about anyway? Paperweights. Honestly, is paper that anxious to escape? Oh, my paper's getting away! Ludicrous!"
- "Have you met that Sotha Sil yet? Now there's an Elf I can relate to. Soft-spoken, reclusive, melancholy …. Actually, now that I think about it, we don't have much in common at all."
- "So, how about another adventure, mate? We could go … I don't know, to the market? Buy some eggs. Honestly, I'm game for anything! Really!"
- "Huh? Oh, sorry. I was busy planning my next holiday. Picture this, mate: the moons! Exciting, eh? I'd invite you along if you could survive up there. Sidenote—you cannot survive up there."
- "You know there's a ghost in here, right? It's name is Vincent, and it adores cherry pie! Maybe you should go fetch a pie … or, you know, an exorcist. Not sure where you fall on the whole restless dead issue."
- "Your belly's rumbling. Hungry? That's one I'll never understand, mate. The drive to push plants and animals into your face-hole, grind them into paste, then store them in flesh-sack. Yech!"
- "Thanks for putting me up here, mate. You won't regret it! I don't eat anything, never make a mess, and I'm an excellent conversation piece."
- "I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but it's critically important that you polish me three times a week, mate. It sharpens my powers of perception and enchances my self-esteem."
- "You know the worst thing about near-omniscience? Every time someone laughingly says, "have you heard this one?" you have to say yes. Or in my case, you have to glow and scream until they run away."
- "This place is so … I don't know. Domestic? Where do you keep your trolls? You do have some trolls here, right? I was specifically told there would be trolls."
- "Hey, I wrote you a song! You're going to love it, mate. It's a brisk sixteen hours long—very up tempo. And there's only a … I don't know, twelve percent chance it will cause a stroke?"
- "If you find another crystalline entity, you'll bring it back here, right? I could use some decent conversation. Not that you—. Don't get me wrong, our conversations are just … you know, just really great."
- "You know, where I'm from , warriors wield swords made of pure math. Kind of puts those crude metal weapons into perspective, eh?"
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