"Despite what the town criers said, I didn't intend to poison my neighbor's children. Those cats of hers would not stop yowling! A plate of poisoned kippers was enough to do the trick. Children should know not to eat strange food from the ground!"
"I have never been accused of illicit activity in my life, yet that horrid chanter claimed I was part of the Dark Brotherhood! It's all just a ploy to claim my holdings for the Cathedral of Akatosh. Everyone knows."