- "The Jovial Lambasters are here to help! Any wish, any desire can be yours. Imagine the wealth, the power, the prestige! All for a price, of course. Lord Clavicus Vile isn't one for charity, I'm afraid."
- "New to Rimmen, are you? Well, allow me to explain the rules. The Jovial Lambasters help this refuge run nice and smooth. And for such services, all we demand is a little respect. Preferably in the form of gold and portable jewelry, of course."
- "I'm sure you'd love to join our ranks. After all, who wouldn't want to be part of the most powerful group in Rimmen? Yeah, well, sorry: the Jovial Lambasters are a closed organization. You don't contact us, we'll contact you."
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