The Lusty Argonian Maid

The Lusty Argonian Maid
Title	The Lusty Argonian Maid
Full Title	The Lusty Argonian Maid
Author	Crassius Curio
Skyrim
Weight	1.00
Value	14
FormID	0001ACEF(v1) 000F699D(v2)
Oblivion
Weight	1.00
Value	10
FormID	00078562
Morrowind
Weight	3.00
Value	20
FormID	bk_lustyargonianmaid

Main article: Books (Skyrim)

Main article: Books (Oblivion)

Main article: Books (Morrowind)

The Lusty Argonian Maid is a book in The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.

Locations

Morrowind

• Vivec City, found on the body of Crassius Curio.

Oblivion

• Anvil, in Heinrich Oaken-Hull's House.
• Bliss, close to the entrance gate.
• Cheydinhal, the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary. Ocheeva owns a copy.
• Deepscorn Hollow, next to the bed of the Dark Minion.
• Gweden Farm, basement in the sleeping area.
• Imperial City, found on the body of Gaston Tussaud.
• Imperial City Waterfront by the pirates.
• Leyawiin in Southern Books.
• Dunroot Burrow, Sanctum of Decadence, behind the first bed on the left after the Chalice of Reversal.

Skyrim

• The College of Winterhold Arcanaeum, in a locked display case.
• Driftshade Refuge, on a bookshelf.
• Falkreath, next to the chair on the west-southwest guard bridge.
• Honningbrew Meadery, next to the bed in the loft floor (Volume 2)
• Lucky Lorenz's Shack, a crushed house across the river from the Abandoned Prison. Next to the body of Lucky Lorenz.
• Morthal, Highmoon Hall Underneath Joric's bed.
• Riften, Haelga's Bunkhouse, left of the altar of Dibella on the bedstand in Haelga's room. (Both volumes)
• Riften, Riftweald Manor, found within the basement. Also on the desk near the bust of the Gray Fox.
• Winterhold Jarl's Longhouse, in a room on the second floor.

Dawnguard

• Fort Dawnguard, next to some potions and a bedroll.
• Volkihar Ruins, in Valerica's study. (Volume 2)

Dragonborn

• Apocrypha, as a drop from Seekers.
• Benkongerike in Solstheim in the Great Hall. On the right, inside a hut, there is a pile of both works. (13 of V1, 6 of V2)
• Skaal Village, Baldor Iron-Shaper's House, under his bed.
• Inside Hrodulf's House, in Solstheim. (Both volumes)

Contents

Volume 1

Act IV, Scene III, continued

Lifts-Her-Tail

Certainly not, kind sir! I am here but to clean your chambers.

Crantius Colto

Is that all you have come here for, little one? My chambers?

Lifts-Her-Tail

I have no idea what it is you imply, master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.

Crantius Colto

So you are, my dumpling. And a good one at that. Such strong legs and shapely tail.

Lifts-Her-Tail

You embarrass me, sir!

Crantius Colto

Fear not. You are safe here with me.

Lifts-Her-Tail

I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not!

Crantius Colto

Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here, polish my spear.

Lifts-Her-Tail

But it is huge! It could take me all night!

Crantius Colto

Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

END OF ACT IV, SCENE III

Volume 2

Note: Volume 2 was added in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

Act VII, Scene II, Continued

Lifts-Her-Tail

My goodness, that's quite a loaf! But how ever shall it fit my oven?

Crantius Colto

This loaf isn't ready for baking, my sweet. It has yet to rise.

Lifts-Her-Tail

If only we could hurry that along. How would I accomplish such a task?

Crantius Colto

Oh, my foolish little Argonian maid, you must use your hands.

Lifts-Her-Tail

You wish me to knead the loaf? Here?

Crantius Colto

Of course.

Lifts-Her-Tail

But what if the mistress catches me? Your loaf was meant to satisfy her appetite.

Crantius Colto

Don't fret, my delicate flower. I'll satisfy the mistress's cravings later.

Lifts-Her-Tail

Very well, but I'm afraid my oven isn't hot enough. It could take hours!

Crantius Colto

Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.

END OF ACT VII, SCENE II

Trivia

• In The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind and The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, this appeared as a single book, however in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim it appears as two separate volumes: Volume 1, Volume 2.
• In The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Nelacar would make a reference to this book if a persuasion attempt on him was failed during "The Black Star."
• In the add-on The Elder Scrolls V: Dragonborn there is a (quest item) book called Lusty Argonian Maid Folio, which contains both Volume I and Volume II.
• Because both volumes of The Lusty Argonian Maid appear in The Elder Scrolls Online, Crassius Curio is a "would-be" author of this literary work. According to research, The Lusty Argonian Maid has its origins in a long line of tales told by traveling bards.
• The Online quest "The Unveiling" references The Lusty Argonian Maid.^{confirmation needed}

Appearances

• The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind
• The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
• The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim

References

This book was taken from The Elder Scrolls series of video games or from websites created and owned by Bethesda Softworks, the copyright of which is held by Bethesda Softworks. All trademarks and registered trademarks present in the image are proprietary to Bethesda Softworks, the inclusion of which implies no affiliation with The Elder Scrolls Wiki. The use of such images is believed to fall under the fair use doctrine of copyright law.