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  • Did anything happen in the game that made you laugh? Please tell us about it.

    Part one here

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    • You da man, just gonna leave a message to bump and follow.

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    • no clipping below the map and pickpocketing someone

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    • I found Ulfric's statement regarding the state of the Reach whilst under Stormcloak rule, terribly humorous and ironic. After I reclaimed Markarth for the Stormcloaks, he claims that, to paraphrase... "The Reach is now in the hands of the true sons and daughters of Skyrim, and now the empire will now stop the 'raping' of it's silver mines".

      Yet funnily enough the Silver-Bloods are now the governing party of the Reach, meaning the very people spearheading the 'raping' of it's silver deposits now have more power than ever. I mean jeez, are you for real, Mr. High King??

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    • Purrington wrote:
      I found Ulfric's statement regarding the state of the Reach whilst under Stormcloak rule, terribly humorous and ironic. After I reclaimed Markarth for the Stormcloaks, he claims that, to paraphrase... "The Reach is now in the hands of the true sons and daughters of Skyrim, and now the empire will now stop the 'raping' of it's silver mines".

      Yet funnily enough the Silver-Bloods are now the governing party of the Reach, meaning the very people spearheading the 'raping' of it's silver deposits now have more power than ever. I mean jeez, are you for real, Mr. High King??

      he didnt mean they wanted to stop using the silver, he was talking about how most of the silver that the impeirials took was for them and not the reach or even skyrim for that matter

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    • Yep, I heard from in game dialogue that most of the silver was sent to Cyrodiil and other Imperial provinces. Ulfric wants it to stay in Skyrim but enough about that. Let us return and stay on topic.

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    • whenever i want Agmaer to follow me

      he always talks about how it won't impede on his studies with neloth

      is this normal?

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    • Agmear says that? Are you sure you don't mean Talvas? Agmaer is a member of the Dawnguard, he doesn't even know Neloth.

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    • Nelthro wrote:
      Agmear says that? Are you sure you don't mean Talvas? Agmaer is a member of the Dawnguard, he doesn't even know Neloth.

      yes he says that to me

      because they have the same voice actor the game gets confused XD try it out on agmaer

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    • Similarly to my earlier story, I had crossed paths with Omluag during my time in Markarth. He talked my ear off about how Mulush gro-Shugurz treats him and his colleagues like slaves and how they 'Get paid next to nothing' in addition to being overworked.

      So after I talked down Mulush, Omluag expresses his gratitude by gifting me with 'A whole weeks wage', which he then proceeds to hand me 1000 septims. I'm thinking, THIS is your weekly wage? You consider a weekly salary of 1000 septims next to nothing? Bruh...

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    • Hmh, I guess this is not unlike many prior stories, but it has a small twist.

      So, I had not yet become a member of the Dark Brotherhood. But I was going to and I was already in Morthal so might as well just kill Beitild, though it was day so I broke into her house and took everything in her house, then waited for her to come home, then I with 100 pickpocketing and all perks I robbed everything she had, money, key, clothes, pickaxe and everything else. When she went to bed, I shot an arrow into her head and killed her, head for style as headshots don't count in skyrim.

      Now, I exit her house, and the first thing I see is this courier coming to inform me of the death of beitild, which was just a few seconds prior, and I had on ocassion sold some ore to her. Now here's when it got weird, I already knew the courier had mystic powers of far-sight, but I didn't know ex-husbands did too, because the next letter I got was from her ex-husband Leigelf, who informed me that he knew I was the one who killed her, thanking me and offering me a sum of gold. Despite my level 100 sneak, again with all perks.

      So to top it off, I robbed Beitild blind, but she still had money to spare so I could get more of her money, and in only a few seconds the whole town magically knew that someone killed her, and one even knew it was me, and he also gave me some money for it. I also returned on a later date and one of the miners who worked in Beitilds mine told me "You're nothing but trouble." Now what I had done in that city was sell ore, kill beitild and cure it of nightmares. So I assume also he knew I killed Beitild.

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    • About time someone made a continuation of the first thread. The load time was anything but funny.

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    • Leea wrote:
      About time someone made a continuation of the first thread. The load time was anything but funny.

      i had no trouble

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    • Something funny about Skyrim, being the leader of every guild and commanding an entire army of Stormcloaks/Imperial soldiers, plus the fact that you saved the world from Alduin and despite of everything you accomplished, the guards will still say "Yes citizen?" Dragonborn: "I have killed dozens of people without trying, became the leader of every guild in Skyrim, and command you and your fellow guards. I also saved the world from a dragon who feeds on the souls of the dead and killed dozens of other dragons, and you refer to me as a citizen?" Guard: "Yes?" Dragonborn: " FUS DO RAH!!!"

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    • As I was just exiting Riften from the main gate, preparing to take a carriage to Windhelm, another Elder Dragon swoops down to attack us, which happens so often that I could consider it to be just another day in Skyrim.

      Usually the town guard make short work of these Serpents but I was only level 32 at the time, so the men haven't ascended to godhood just yet. This battle was unique in the sense that the dragon actually succeeded in annihilating the guards one at a time. The battle took place in the dead of night so I was crouched the whole time with the Dragon unaware of my presence.

      Just as group of five Riften watchmen were about to finish off the beast, with less than 10% health left, and victory literally over the horizon, this serpent opens his gaping jaws and lets loose a burst of fire, and somehow one by one those guards began dropping like flies. From 5 guards down to two guards in the blink of an eye, the dragon proceeds to chomp down on the last two one after the other (Dragon finisher Move), and tosses them aside like trash.

      The best part of all this was hearing the bravado from the guards, quickly transition to "GAH, NUGH, Not like this!"

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    • Tsumefan2 wrote:

      Leea wrote:
      About time someone made a continuation of the first thread. The load time was anything but funny.

      i had no trouble

      Maybe you didn't, but I know I and perhaps a few other people did. I know I've forgotten some hilarious gems because the old page simply took too long to load. Then, I know I'll remember them some time during the day, then, when I log on to the internet again and this site, I'll forget all about them again. It's a sad, sad cycle. I should just write them down on paper.

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    • i went to eastmarch imperial camp, and one of the soldiers is bouncing over the firepit uncontrollably

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    • Leea wrote:

      Tsumefan2 wrote:

      Leea wrote:
      About time someone made a continuation of the first thread. The load time was anything but funny.
      i had no trouble
      Maybe you didn't, but I know I and perhaps a few other people did. I know I've forgotten some hilarious gems because the old page simply took too long to load. Then, I know I'll remember them some time during the day, then, when I log on to the internet again and this site, I'll forget all about them again. It's a sad, sad cycle. I should just write them down on paper.

      Whether you have trouble or not depends on your computer, or device used to browse. My PC can load any page and years ago when there was no limit to the number of replies, I could still load like 1000 reply threads, and only made new ones at like 600 replies or so, even though most could handle it, meanwhile my tablet can handle no more than roughly 400 replies.

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    • I found a dead Whiterun guard inside Fort Amol. The fort is in Eastmarch. I have no idea how he got there.

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    • Leea wrote:
      I found a dead Whiterun guard inside Fort Amol. The fort is in Eastmarch. I have no idea how he got there.

      the bandits probably captured a guard and killed him then put him in the cage

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    • but what where eastmach bandits doing near a whiterun guard?

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    • Superior Skymonkey wrote:
      but what where eastmach bandits doing near a whiterun guard?

      like i said they probably killed him

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    • i meant how did bandits in eastmarch encounter a whiterun guard to kill him

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    • Superior Skymonkey wrote:
      i meant how did bandits in eastmarch encounter a whiterun guard to kill him

      use your imagination

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    • fair enough

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    • Using imagination...

      The whiterun guard was launched by a giant.

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    • lets get back on topic.

      i was doing in my time of need early in the game (level 10) and i had trouble defeating kematu, so i used my newly accquired beast form. i died again, but i used beast form again, and during the fight accidentally hit the right button on the controller, (powers/shouts) causing me to preform the howl of terror, this gave me edge i needed, as the remaining alik'r (including kematu) scattered, giving me time to feed to heal and extend the bloodlust, and after the howl ran out the alik'r attacked one by one, making them easy prey. i know see how of fear as my trump card for taking out enemies in groups.

      then i got attacked by hired thugs, (moira for killing anise, if you want to know) and that went well. (keep in mind, level 10)

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    • I dual-wielded staves in a previous character (Wabbajack in one hand, Staff of the Healing Hand in the other. I was leveling up Marcurio.) when I thought, "I want a Khajiit mage. I haven't had one of those in a while." so I save, load the save just off the cart in Helgen, and I'm puzzled by the enchantment-level bars on both sides of the screen. They show the level of power for both the Wabbajack and other staff. They slowly fade away and I'm left wondering why staff-charge bars followed me across saves.

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    • when i was just coming back out of tolvad's cave, there was a dead deer sticking its butt out of the ground

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    • I once dived into a dungeon and found it had a small room with a stool and a bucket on it. This was clearly a bathroom. Perched on a stone shelf on the wall, was a POTION OF TRUE SHOT!!! I laughed quite hard at that

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      • I'm up and crouched on a bubble of rock in the Pinewatch bandit's den - the room just before Rigel Stone-Arm's room - and while they don't see me shooting arrows at them, they all crowd around the base of the rock and are looking up at me. They're not supposed to know I'm there, but their heads are craned up to look at me anyway.
      • I make Burguk's favorite wife, Shel, go insane and everyone kills her in a flurry of attacks, but then they see what they've done and they all run screaming into the longhouse and don't come back out. No one even seems to care that I've looted her body of the rare Tavern Clothes. Delighted, I do the same at Mor Khazgur to the wise woman, and the identical happens, while I'm cheerfully looting her for her Shrouded Hood. No one thinks to check the corner where some outsider hid themselves before all this happened.
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    • HighVelocityCactus wrote:
      I once dived into a dungeon and found it had a small room with a stool and a bucket on it. This was clearly a bathroom. Perched on a stone shelf on the wall, was a POTION OF TRUE SHOT!!! I laughed quite hard at that

      yeah i saw that too and its some kind of egg

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    • when i was reading the black book a redoran guard walked up to me and said what are you gawking at outlander



      "isn't it obvious! i am reading a black book!"

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    • Just got done clearing out Dustman's Cairn for Proving Honor. It was just Me, my trusty Silver Greatsword, and Farkas. I went in with a two-handed skill of 18, and came out with skill of 45. I levelled up 27 times in ONE dungeon WITHOUT the Warrior Stone.

      Needless to say Skyrim's level design is horrendously tedious. I must have killed a total of 200 Draugr and Silver hand in that decaying hole in the ground.

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    • at such low levels, leveling up is pretty fast. But, there are mods for that, and there's one mod I have that allows me to level up many of my skills without reaching level 2.

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    • But then the game isn't as fun that way! When you can kill everything in one or two shots, the game gets kinda boring, fast. There's no challenge anymore.

      Though I did do that with Two-Handed, once. I met Vilkas, ran around killing things to up and up my skill, Enchanted like crazy (well, I do anyway, to get the Extra Effect perk) so I could get +40% damage increases in boots, gauntlets, ring and necklace, came back, joined, and knocked him down in one hit, just to prove that I was always better than him. Then I loaded the save from before I did most of that, and the character lived happily ever after...until I deleted her two months later.

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    • i know i have said this before but when i fought haknir deathbreand i shouted at him and now he is face down on the ground and he can't attack me XD

      instead of making a whole new comment i am going to ride the coatails of this one



      when i was in windhelm walking out of the white phial when all of a sudden a dead dragon just appeard out of nowhere

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    • Killing the Dark Brotherhood, using a mod to revive Astrid, bumping into her and her telling me to go to Nazir, who is dead in my file... 

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    • Recently just went through To Kill an Empire. Had an absolute blast.

      Like everyone else, I chose to hold off on tainting the Decoy's meal with Jarrin Root, and instead chose a more interesting approach. As the 'Emperor' and his royal pals savoured my Potage le Magnifique, slurping soup and cutlery clanking, I slipped some frenzy poison in the decoy's pocket and quickly hid in a dark corner of the room. In one shake of a lamb's tail, he springs up out of his chair and proceeds to scream in terror whilst the two Penitus Oculatus brandish their Imperial Swords and cut him down on the spot... all the while THEY shout saying "The Gourmet has killed the Emperor!!". And I'm just like Dindu nuffin'.

      I almost fell out of my chair xD

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    • a dead dragon keeps spawning where ever i go

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    • use it as storage!

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    • Superior Skymonkey wrote:
      use it as storage!

      hahaha maybe XD

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    • I had just joined the Thieves Guild, and was low on coin. So I go to Riverwood, planning on looting Alvor's house. I was sneaking right outside the door to steal his wife's key to the house. I somehow glitched thought the wall, robbed them blind, and left through the wall.

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    • i was at a lumber mill about to use a glitch that involves a dead person and hod walks up to the body and says "oh what happened!"

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    • So, story from my modded Skyrim just a minute ago, I am at the hall of elemnts, in the college, where the apprentice sometimes are standing throwing destrction spells at the wall, so this time Onmund was there alone using frostbite, on the bench next to him was Enthir, I spoke to Enthir and told him I wanted to buy something so he told me to meet him at his quarters and he stood up and walked straight through the stream of frostbite, at which point he screamed "HELP ME, HELP ME!" he continued walking as he headed for his quarters, a few seconds later a guard enters the room and walks up to Onmund saying "By order of the Jarl, I command you to stop."

      The two then stare vacantly at each other for an extended period of time.

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    • Sonir wouldn't play the song I wanted, so I used Flames on her. I began to run away because she pulled her dagger out, but I turn around and she continues playing the lute like nothing happened. She then comments on me being naked so I use Flames on her again. She looks me dead in the eye, dagger in hand, then runs past me to the front door, yelling "Mercy!" at which point Valdimar shoots her right in the ass with an ice spike. Inspiring stuff.

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    • Nelthro wrote: a few seconds later a guard enters the room and walks up to Onmund saying "By order of the Jarl, I command you to stop."

      The two then stare vacantly at each other for an extended period of time.

      Really? I know Guards will attack NPC's but I've never heard of a Guard attempting to place an arrest on an NPC, scripted events not included.

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    • Purrington wrote:

      Nelthro wrote: a few seconds later a guard enters the room and walks up to Onmund saying "By order of the Jarl, I command you to stop."

      The two then stare vacantly at each other for an extended period of time.

      Really? I know Guards will attack NPC's but I've never heard of a Guard attempting to place an arrest on an NPC, scripted events not included.

      It is quite possible that it's because of the cutting floor mod.

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    • When a guard asks, "Is that fur? Coming out of your ears?"

      I'm a Khajiit.

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    • In my file whenever I fast travel, a wild horse always spawns behind me when I get to my destination.

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    • Wild horse? Without a saddle? When that happens that's usually your horse, that's why it travels with you.

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    • MegaSceptileFav wrote:
      In my file whenever I fast travel, a wild horse always spawns behind me when I get to my destination.

      you sure it isn't your horse?

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    • A wild horse of a random color spawns and it's not my horse, also it doesn't follow me proving even more it's not my horse.

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    • MegaSceptileFav wrote:
      A wild horse of a random color spawns and it's not my horse, also it doesn't follow me proving even more it's not my horse.

      how odd indeed

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    • i got the glitch where the ragged trousers on the Feral Vampire appear pink when equipping them directly from her inventory (albeit i did it on purpose to see if i would get them)

      also, celann died during the attack on castle volkihar (noooooo!) and in his inventory was 15 crossbows. 15 crossbows

      coincidentaly he had the same amount of bolts

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    • maybe he wanted to be like reaper from overwatch, instead of reloading, throwing away his weapon and pulling out a new one

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    • Or maybe he wanted to become like the demonhunter from Diablo 3.

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    • One time i was going around pickpocketing gems and gold from riften citizens for the profit, eventually i got to mjoll and once i took all the valuables off her, she detects me, turns around and tells me how rare it is to have friends like me. 

      I had to take a second and just laugh at the pure absurdity of the moment.

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    • This just happened to me.

      So I'm almost just getting done with the quest Lost To The Ages with the final Aether Shard hidden deep within Raldbthar, with Ghorbash the Iron Hand tagging along. Spent over 30 minutes (Embarrassingly so), carving through wave after wave of Bandits, Dwarven Spheres, Spiders, and Falmer, when I'm finally getting close to retrieving the shard, and eager to leave the ruin. So as I'm heading toward the final section, I barely just missed a pressure plate that would've triggered a set of Dwarven blades attached to the ceiling. My heart skipped a beat, and quietly thought to myself 'Man, I just realized I haven't saved since I entered this ruin. Imagine how awful it'd been if this trap got me, and sent me back to the start'.

      Then lo and behold! Gorbash finally catches up to me, sprinting like the wind, stepping on the pressure plate and triggering the trap, killing me and sending me back to my last save! So the 'what if' scenario I thought of came true. I could've lost my mind and smashed my controller, but just thought 'Meh, I'm too old for this shit', after which I just switched off the game.

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    • The worst/funniest thing for me happened 5 min ago im Killen admin like a BOSS and the note that this is true i have dawnguard and the DAWNGUARD troops come into Fuken Sovengaurd along with hired thugs and before i know what happening There Maken me there BITCH BY aduins fire, steel war hammers, crossbows, and death (note im a mage with 0 armor Just AM robes

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    • I got some sort of disease (I don't recall which one, I think it was Bone Break Fever), and I pass a random encounter area and the Aflicted that spawned there looks at me dubiously and says, "Are you sure you aren't sick?"

      I stole a dress from Anise's dresser, and thugs come for me later. There was over 400 gold altogether on their bodies, and all for stealing a dress worth 10. Hello, overreaction!

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    • Tsumefan2 wrote:
      Superior Skymonkey wrote:
      use it as storage!
      hahaha maybe XD

      you know why i said maybe it's because it's not good to use a dead dragon as storage because it despawns after a few days

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    • The Cat Master
      The Cat Master removed this reply because:
      Spam
      22:40, October 8, 2018
      This reply has been removed
    • thank you so much cat master

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    • huh my Dragon at the Stables is there now and it's been a IG year

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    • I bought Vigilance and when I went to Valthume and tried to do battle with Hevnorak, first the old Dragon Priest didn't turn hostile at all, and I stared at him awkwardly for over two minutes as my arrows just sailed through him like he didn't exist, though he was solid enough that he bumped into me and I stood there. Then, when I finally managed to get an arrow to stick and I was dodging thunderbolts from him, all Vigilance did was sit there and bark. Damn dog.

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    • Leea wrote:
      I bought Vigilance and when I went to Valthume and tried to do battle with Hevnorak, first the old Dragon Priest didn't turn hostile at all, and I stared at him awkwardly for over two minutes as my arrows just sailed through him like he didn't exist, though he was solid enough that he bumped into me and I stood there. Then, when I finally managed to get an arrow to stick and I was dodging thunderbolts from him, all Vigilance did was sit there and bark. Damn dog.

      should you say "Stupid dog" like the high elves?

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    • The Khajiit in the Hide Hat
      The Khajiit in the Hide Hat removed this reply because:
      WTF why tell u
      16:02, October 27, 2018
      This reply has been removed
    • evette san is walking three feet above the air in solitude

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    • it's raining Draugar...

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    • On my current playthrough I'm kind of following a minimalistic approach, primarily meaning that as soon as I earn gold anywhere, I'll spend it straight away, thus never having any savings.

      After I got done extorting Bersi Honey-Hand, Haelga, and Keerava, in true idiotic fashion I went shopping using the 300 septims I shook them for and when I returned to Brynjolf he berated me and accused me of skimming from the guild. 6 years of Skyrim and this is the first time this happened, haha.

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    • it's hapopener to me 2 lol but I always have savings AND i needed 300 more coins for hjerm sooooo I know

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    • I chopped a bunch of wood at that wood chopping block in Dawnstar, but then I couldn't find anyone to sell it to (30 at 5 gold a pop), so I entered the inn, went to a drawer - in plain view of everyone - and left it all in there. The barkeep ran over and called me a "filthy filching lizard" and then waltzed back to the bar. Giving you a week's supply of wood for free is considered stealing? That's a new one!

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    • My game glitched out when a dragon attacked Falkreath. He did that 'breath attack while in the air' and stayed in that position, wings out, but he continued to move around.






      When he landed on a building or on the ground, I summoned a Dremora and just started to ROFL XD

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    • Someone (I can't remember who) gave me a Waterbreathing Potion as a gift. The character who received it is an Argonian. I didn't know whether to be insulted or just plain amused. I opted to sell it for the 100 gold.

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    • I killed The drunk in Whiterun after giving a coin (begger) and Someone wonce honored (begger i gave a coin) and half a min later for each they had 300 coins saved up to give me...... Yea sure ur poor...lets go with THAT theory...!!!

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    • Silda the Unseen is the worst, though. You can end up giving her thousands of gold for Pickpocketing training, but then she still says "All I ask for is a little charity!" and "A few Septims for my supper is all I ask." when she's got enough money to buy the Candlehearth Hall.

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    • hmmm yea.... she spent it on PICKPOCKET TRAINING FROM the TG...That's why....!! big Reveal

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    • but I went APE SHIT on the homeless (fury i love fury spell) And then a mail man comes so yea so

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    • What I'd like to know is how can horses report crimes? I'm in the middle of nowhere, kill the Noble and his Bodyguard, and his horse sees it all and reports it somehow to Falkreath all the way past Helgen and a good half hour's run over that way. Are they telepathic or something? Is someone in Skyrim a Horse Whisperer?

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    • Horses in Skyrim are cross breed with mountain goats and when incompatible genes mix... they get 2 extra senses (e.g. Telepathic, Transparency... all bunches of things... its Basicly the good type of Being disabled or something.

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    • thats also why they can do 90° climbing.... fly I say FLY!!!!

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    • i need to know if this glitch is normal

      sometimes i land on a cart and i fly around for a short time over the ground

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    • The Khajiit in the Hide Hat wrote:
      it's raining Draugar...

      Hallelujah!

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    • Really every time I go to Whiterun Restless durgar Say hi to me

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    • I once flamebolted a giant spider into a large of array of Flame Spout Traps.

      For me it was immensely satisfying and quite humorous.

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    • 1 time i went to the college of the winderhold, and when i got there a dragon attack was going on, well after getting it down to 10% the dragon somehow managed to fall off the cliff, and suprising idk what caused this but i think it was a bug, well all the NPC just jumped off the bridge in the college of winderhold, to their deats or just to kil the dragon (essential), for me it was very funny and very good, since i was playn on legendary and all the loot was good xD

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    • when A bandit said "Human...I eat your arms after death!!!" (Super mutant saying from fallout 3"

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    • ^ that happened in Skyrim?

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    • Yea well the funny thing was i JUST got done playing Fallout 3 when thus happened

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    • Nelthro wrote:
      ^ that happened in Skyrim?

      it's an easter egg?

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    • I think it's A. I just got done playing Fallout and my xbox was confused or B. glitch cuz it's NOT a scripted event

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    • I have a new one...when I are the jarrin root...ten points for whomever can guess the results

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    • i can't because i dont understand "when i are the jarrin root"

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    • I think he's saying he became jarrin root, he was used to make the stew and when the emperor ate him, he died.

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    • O.o

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    • No i Had 30 HP left (out of 200) but hence I had 100 alcomy It said Fortify health *gains 100000* hp

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    • than i crashed

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    • oh the "i are the jarrin root" is a typo

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    • but what was it supposed to say?

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    • when I ate the jarrin root

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    • oh, so you died because the Jarrin root take 200 health

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    • no i lived (barely but gained a bunch of extra HP)

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    • I started a new character, and as Tullius is saying "...but a hero doesn't use a power like the Voice to murder his king and usurp his throne." Ulfric looks at me and grunts and I'm like, "Hey, don't look at me!"

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    • I picked up a basket full of leeks in Fort Greenwall and took the leeks off the floor, dropped the basket out of my inventory, and went on to kill the archer up the stairs. I'm suddenly whacked in the back by a bandit, and when he's dead I search his inventory and there's the basket. I'm assuming he somehow sprinted past me, went down the stairs to the kitchen, picked up the discarded basket, ran back up, then decided to kill me instead of returning the basket I never wanted.

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    • ugh why does everyone insist on giving me my garbage...just yea yesterday I went to a imp camp... somehow 9999999999999999 bloody rags (that was the literal #) and I drop it and a imp comes running, picks my S*** up, gets over weight and slowly walks Twords me and gives me my litter

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    • I drop a bunch of stuff in Treva's Watch (to pick up more). I'm sneaking out of the room (to avoid alerting the bandit chief in the other room) and a bandit runs up to me and asks me about the armor I dropped in the other room, asking if he could have it! I say "Yeah, sure" and he says "Thanks!" and goes into the room and picks up whatever he'd wanted and then runs back. I get to the room he came from and of course, being a bandit, he attacks with all his buddies, and after he's killed, there, in his inventory, is the foot wraps I'd dropped. He wanted foot wraps? Foot wraps? I'd dropped better things!

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    • During a scuffle with the forsworn guarding the entrance of Druadach Redoubt, I was in the midst of performing a killcam on the last forsworn, when my follower (Who is in fact my clone who I created through the console) decided to blast me and the forsworn with Marked For Death, mid-finisher. So now the forsworn was dead, and I was cursed to die slowly for a minute.

      I actually took a peek at my active effects to see the description that marked for death had on me, but it was really vague and unclear. Nothing but random words and numbers. And given that I had no nore healing potions on me, I couldn't restore my health in time to save me.

      So I just accepted my fate, walked over to the river stream and dropped dead.

      Best suicide ever...

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    • Tsumefan2
      Tsumefan2 removed this reply because:
      repetative
      00:06, December 12, 2018
      This reply has been removed
    • I love attacking with two swords at once and watching bodies fly.

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    • I've got a Steel Dagger in my hand as I'm walking past a guard in Dawnstar and he says: "You should talk to Rustleif. Get some proper steel."

      A steel dagger isn't a steel dagger? Then what is it?

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    • Leea wrote:
      I've got a Steel Dagger in my hand as I'm walking past a guard in Dawnstar and he says: "You should talk to Rustleif. Get some proper steel."

      A steel dagger isn't a steel dagger? Then what is it?

      probably something like a battleaxe or a hammer

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    • An unarmed-based Argonian character is walking past a Dawnstar guard and he says the same thing to her as he said to another character: that Rustleif will get me "some proper steel."

      Apparently, not only is a Steel Dagger not steel, but neither is Steel Armor, too. You guys need to get conquered by the Imperial Legion! At least those guards know that steel stuff is actually steel!

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    • Yea I was playing a Heavy armor Mage and dawnstar guard says the same Steel Stuff... ok so Steel armour... steel dagger, Steel Everything isn't steel... than I walk past him in iron armor...and he comments on how cool my "steel" stuff was... dude I'm in iron... get wit dit!

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    • I've got a Khajiit unarmed master, and these are some of the things that have been said to her:

      • The Dawnstar guards commented on her armor. She wears full set of Daedric armor improved to Legendary, and they are hung up on - you guessed it - steel. "You should go to Rustleif. Get some proper steel." You keep your steel, I'm going to keep my Daedric, okay?
      • Kayd, that brat in Solitude, says: "I bet my poppa could beat you up." ever time I walk by. Kid, I can beat Ancient Dragons, Centurion Masters, Draugr Death Overlords and Dragon Priests in unarmed combat with few potions used. I have 100 Heavy Armor. My strikes do over 50 damage a strike. In your dreams, kid.
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    • Naked courier.

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    • I think Couriers r pedos

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    • The human body is nothing to be ashamed of. Sprout your wings and fly is what I say.

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    • What kind? Dragon or eagle?

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    • the time i named my blonde nord worrior with a GLORIOUS mustache hulk hogan

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    • I had a staff of Paralysis and was facing a Draugr Death Overlord at Arcwind Point at the top of the stairs, and he looked so funny when he was paralyzed and bounced down the stairs like a rubber ball. I did it over and over and over...

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    • Leea wrote: I had a staff of Paralysis and was facing a Draugr Death Overlord at Arcwind Point at the top of the stairs, and he looked so funny when he was paralyzed and bounced down the stairs like a rubber ball. I did it over and over and over...

      You made my day.

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    • One time I summoned karstaag near a cave just to fight him, and when he started attacking me I got knocked into the cave which caused a loading screen, and when I got out and killed him after a while I went into third person and my character model was when you were knocked down and I was just moving while lying down and I found out that when you get paralyzed it fixes it.

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    • As I was cruising through the wilderness pon' thy steed I was attacked by two necromancers. We were conveniently close to a stormcloak camp, and given that I was too lazy to get off my horse and kill them I just casually rode toward the camp and let the stormcloaks deal with them.

      Nothing too special happened, but the way the last neccer died had me rolling. First one dies, then the blue soldiers swarmed the last one and tore him a new one in a second. As he died he did a typical 'Timber' falling-over-like-a-statue animation and let out a big "Gaaaah".

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    • I always get the Death Dance when I kill someone, more often than not. They do this little jig before opening their arms wide and falling to the ground.

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    • I have a Dunmer warrior, and nearly every time she finds a Random Encounter area, there's a hostile Dunmer there, either just an "adventurer" type or an assassin from the Dark Brotherhood. Nothing else. Just hostile Dunmer.

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    • So I'm doing the final part of The Blessings of Nature. I'm casually making my way to The Eldergleam Sanctuary on horseback with Maurice lagging behind me as usual, when I'm passing through Cradlecrush Rock. I give the lone Giant there a wide berth, whereas Maurice obliviously runs directly toward the giant, triggering hostility.

      Galloping away, Behind me I hear Maurice screaming 'Victory is yours! I subm-'... followed by a loud, earth-shaking thud.

      Upon reaching the Eldergleam, Maurice is nowhere to be found, to which I can only assume he is now happily drinking and singing in the Halls of Sovngarde.

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    • when i HAD the option to marry Nazzem... I think my new dlc hearth fire... was glitched

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    • Ottoman Hold
      Ottoman Hold removed this reply because:
      Double post
      16:10, December 28, 2018
      This reply has been removed
    • Ok, so I live in Imperial-ruled Riften. I was just walking around, and I saw a Riften Guard fighting an Imperial soldier. Serana went right in and murdered both then murdered two more guards.

      I was just standing there laughing.

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    • Cicero

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    • I accidentally sold all of my equipment one time and absent-mindedly equipped a Dragon Priest Mask I found in a ruin afterward.

      Of course, I was in 1st-person the whole time, so I hadn't realized yet. I saved inside the ruin just after learning a Word of Power & turned the game off.

      One busy week later, I get back on the file, and switched to 3rd-person...

      ...

      MASKED NAKED MAN!

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    • So I'm outside Rannveig's Fast fighting the ghosts screaming "Go away or I'll be forced to attack you!", with novice spells, when my dumbass got too close to one of them wielding a battleaxe. In an instant, he one shot me with a finisher move, and for some reason when the kill cam ended I got sent to the moon, like what the giants do.

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    • So I'm doing Loud and Clear and casually sneaking through the tunnels beneath Goldenglow estate as suggested by Vex. As I resurface from a manhole just outside the main house, for some reason even though I'm clearly hidden from Aringoth's mercenaries, the sneak 'Eye' is wide open, I look around and I'm like, "Who the hell can even see me?".

      Then suddenly, three Hired Thugs emerged from the same man hole I exited from, completely drenched in water (Frostfall), and are like 'We're here to teach you a lesson'.

      I mean did these fools really swim all the way across Lake Honrich and stalk me through tunnels like that? They couldn't just intercept me in the city??

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    • Purrington wrote: So I'm doing Loud and Clear and casually sneaking through the tunnels beneath Goldenglow estate as suggested by Vex. As I resurface from a manhole just outside the main house, for some reason even though I'm clearly hidden from Aringoth's mercenaries, the sneak 'Eye' is wide open, I look around and I'm like, "Who the hell can even see me?".

      Then suddenly, three Hired Thugs emerged from the same man hole I exited from, completely drenched in water (Frostfall), and are like 'We're here to teach you a lesson'.

      I mean did these fools really swim all the way across Lake Honrich and stalk me through tunnels like that? They couldn't just intercept me in the city??

      Who sent them?

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    • I never found out, because Aringoth's mercenaries killed the Hired Thugs, and then they killed me as well.

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    • Once I was walking out of Whiterun and I see a giant and dragon fighting. Neither showed up as an enemy so I watched them. The giant ended up walking onto the dragons tail, which then flew into the sky. So I was just watching a giant stading on the tail of a dragon as it flew in circles. Then the giant fell off and died. The dragon flew off into the distance. I was like... ?

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    • So on my new mage character, I was exploring the volcanic tundra of Eastmarch on horseback when I decide to make a stop at Bonestrewn Crest for the Dragon Wall. This was pre Dragon Rising, so no Dragons here, only skeletons. Mind you I had very little armor, and so in true idiotic fashion I rode my horse directly into a crowd of armed skeletons and dismounted my horse there. So stuck in the dismount anim, three skeletons swarmed me and destroyed me in a heartbeat.

      Even after I died and respawned, the game bugged out and kept cycling through the various 'death' soundtracks, which is mainly a brief orchestral flourish. So when I respawned, the game was constantly playing the 'DUN DUN DUNNN' track like it was a horror movie and I was about to be murdered.

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    • my table in my house in riften disappeared and the manniquins are moving around on their own whenever i leave and enter my house

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    • I don't know about you guys but everytime I go meet Sinding he shrinks.

      Other than that, last time I killed everyone in the Hall of Vigilant, hired thugs were sent by ... the Hall of Vigilant.

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    • sinding always makes white noise whenever i go to him

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    • that's just creepy to me

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    • Superior Skymonkey wrote:
      that's just creepy to me

      yeah he doesn't say anything like "never expect to see you again"

      it's just shhhhh

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    • When I was trying to kill gaius maro during the dark brotherhood questline, I found him swimming under water near solitude. At first I cannot see him and the quest marker on the compass is just right in front of me. I heard him kept saying "Last mistake".  At first I thought he was trying to kill me, but when I actually saw him swimming under water, he was actually saying "Last mistake" to the slaughterfishes who were attacking him.

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    • Larry army wrote:
      When I was trying to kill gaius maro during the dark brotherhood questline, I found him swimming under water near solitude. At first I cannot see him and the quest marker on the compass is just right in front of me. I heard him kept saying "Last mistake".  At first I thought he was trying to kill me, but when I actually saw him swimming under water, he was actually saying "Last mistake" to the slaughterfishes who were attacking him.

      So, did he end up becoming fish-food, or did you end up killing him?

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    • That reminds me this time when I was both chased by a fish swimming out of water and arrested by a guard without his head but still talking. Waters are so dangerous these days.

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    • Ifnsman wrote:
      Larry army wrote:
      When I was trying to kill gaius maro during the dark brotherhood questline, I found him swimming under water near solitude. At first I cannot see him and the quest marker on the compass is just right in front of me. I heard him kept saying "Last mistake".  At first I thought he was trying to kill me, but when I actually saw him swimming under water, he was actually saying "Last mistake" to the slaughterfishes who were attacking him.
      So, did he end up becoming fish-food, or did you end up killing him?

      I killed him in Castle Dour in Solitude while he was sleeping. I'm not sure how he survived the slaughterfishes because I cannot kill him underwater. After that I just went to Solitude and wait for him to come.

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    • Larry army wrote:

      Ifnsman wrote:
      Larry army wrote:
      When I was trying to kill gaius maro during the dark brotherhood questline, I found him swimming under water near solitude. At first I cannot see him and the quest marker on the compass is just right in front of me. I heard him kept saying "Last mistake".  At first I thought he was trying to kill me, but when I actually saw him swimming under water, he was actually saying "Last mistake" to the slaughterfishes who were attacking him.
      So, did he end up becoming fish-food, or did you end up killing him?

      I killed him in Castle Dour in Solitude while he was sleeping. I'm not sure how he survived the slaughterfishes because I cannot kill him underwater. After that I just went to Solitude and wait for him to come.

      He probably killed the slaughterfish.

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    • Tsumefan2 wrote:
      Superior Skymonkey wrote:
      that's just creepy to me
      yeah he doesn't say anything like "never expect to see you again"

      it's just shhhhh

      I wish somebody would catch that "quiet beeping sounds" bug that his page he says can happen on camera

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    • Today, I was talking to Svana in the bunkhouse, and Haelga said, "Looking to extort more money from me?" and then Svana said, "That's great!"

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    • A FANDOM user
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