It's time for an exciting new season of Nazeem Legends!
Each new addition must be a continuation from the last one. You must wait for at least one other person to post before adding another piece to the story. Credits goes to Dark Jeto for original idea, and also HumbleDaedricServant, Ottoman Hold, Anbeegod for the continuation of the prequel, Anbeegod for the starting of the sequel, and Ottoman Hold, The Beautiful Princess Ashley, Master of the Night, GlowingSans, The Crusader of Truth, and The Cat Master for the continuation of the series.
Last season left off with: Unfortunately the creature was wielding a fat man, and then proceeded to blow up everyone in the area with a mininuke aimed at the Ebony Warrior.
Nazeem agreed. The girls were eagerly awaiting Kematu's arrival, in a small, secluded shack in Riverwood. Nazeem made his way to Rorikstead, which was where the Alik'r leader was staying. Nazeem had to get creative, in order to get Kematu to follow...
Kematu: Hello again, my friend. What can I do for you on such a fine day?
He pointed all three of his middle fingers at this hoe, and shot him with a crossbow and a sick kill cam. Nazeem turned to his mortal ‘friends’, and planned to sacrifice them at Boethia’s shrine, so he could make an alliance
He also slashed off Kematu’s tiny dick, with 10 failed attempts, due to being shit at One-Handed
Nazeem Materialized back into himself and made his way to High Hrothgar to see the head Greybeard to see if he had any insights into "the way of women" which he thought was similar to "the way of the voice".
Arngeir admitted entrance and said to him........................
Upon laying eyes on her heavenly physique, and pale white complexion, Nazeem felt an overwhelming sense of inadequacy and worthlessness. As her beauty eclipsed his, he felt he wasn't good enough for her.
He then began to shed tears, and walked away with his head down.
Nazeem came up with an idea. Perhaps if he were to worship Azura, and become her champion, she might visit Nirn and allow him a one night stand, which would be more than enough to satisfy his desire for sex.
The miners in cidna mine performed a strange unheard of ritual and nazeem became a cloud of vapour - He could be anything in this form... if they breathed ‘his cloud district’- Thus becoming: VaporZeem
Since he went through all the effort to reach her realm, she thought she'd give him something before sending him back.
Before banishing him, Azura flashed her breasts at him. He was subsequently blinded by it's divine beauty, and his eyes and hair turned completely white. He also slowly descended into madness upon his return to Tamriel.
I am cow hear me moo I weigh twice as much as you And I look good on the barbecue Yogurt, curd, cream cheese, and butter's made from liquid from my udders I am cow, I am cow, hear me moo!
I am cow, eating grass methane gas comes out my arse! and out my muzzle when I belch O! the ozone layer is thinner from the outcome of my dinner I am cow, I am cow, I've got gas
I am cow, here I stand far and wide upon this land and I am living everywhere from B.C. to Newfoundland You can squeeze my teats by hand I am cow, I am cow, I am cow 'Tis a cow, 'Tis a cow, 'Tis a cow!
He was captured by Astrid and taken to the same Riverwood shack, where he had to determine which one of the three ladies was the target for the Dark Brotherhood, and then had to choose to slay the victim, or slay Astrid
Since the girls were already bound and tied, this made things easier.
Nazeem removed Serana's hood, and shoved his cock down her throat. Choking and gagging on his sausage, the other two could only sit and listen in fear... meanwhile Astrid was noticeably soaking wet as she watched on.
By Azura saw this whole ordeal as an abhorrence, and removed Serana, Aela, Frea, Astrid, as well as the abandoned shack from existence.
In the blink of an eye, Nazeem found himself naked in the marsh making sexual gestures, only to realise Serana was no longer beneath him. He looks up at the sky, and a loud NOOOO resonates across Skyrim.
To his surprise, his wish was granted. He was transported into Moonshadow in a heartbeat.
He now finds himself standing over the lady of twilight, in her kingdom. With blue hair at knee length, and a noticeable healthy tan. She lies on a queen sized bed with her legs wide open, touching herself gently with both hands. She gives Nazeem full permission to release all of his loneliness and frustration onto her.
Sadly, his organ had shrunk to an inconceivable size, and he would have to find a remedy to such a disease. He recalled how the arachnid venoms were manufactured in season 24, and would have to dungeon delve to find them...
As such the place where he searched was a spider-infected lair, and the in-game location was...
To start, he purchased a batch of a couple dozen spider-tainted skooma, from his physician/dealer Babette. Unbeknownst to him, Babette deliberately sold him bottles of vapor skooma as opposed to liquid.
Along the way, he accidentally dropped the whole batch and breathed in all the vapour, causing his schlong to swell up to 17 inches in length, and 5 inches in girth...
Now with a 17 incher, Azura invited him once again to mate with her, just this once.
But since the skooma had a finite effect, just as he was about to stick it inside her, the timer ran out and his cock shrunk again. Angered for wasting her time, the goddess bitch-slapped him back to Tamriel.
(More Scandinavian but ok) Ulfric then built a wall around skyrim with help (slaves) and eventually convinced the college to put a magical barrier around the wall. It was impenetrable, unfortunately the DB was a Argonian...
And so a rebellion was started by the Dragonborn to tear down the wall and take Skyrim for their own, but before they could do so, they had to wait for the decision of the kangaroo court because Nazeem was to be their puppet leader.
While she was undressing, Soap and Shampoo pinned her to the ground whilst Nazeem fled from his cell. Without any clothes, he sprinted out the barracks, through the Whiterun marketplace, and out the front gates, his schlong dangling and slapping all over the place.
Now free, he breathed a sigh of relief and made his way back home.
She shouted at Nazeem as he spoke, telling him to shut up and listen to these next words very closely.
Babette: I created you from nothing. I am your master. Your penis belongs to me, to do with as I please. No one else can touch it except me. You do NOT have my permission to leave this lab, or to see or speak with anyone else. Understood?
This new lab-grown Nazeem was genetically altered in several aspects. For one, he had four testicles for increased sperm production.
In addition, his circadian rhythm was manipulated so as to ensure he would only be awake at 7:00 - 7:30 pm, which was when Babette comes home from work, and his T levels would peak at the aforementioned times.
Tired from her 8 hour shift, Babette throws her backpack on the ground and damands Nazeem to mount her straight away. With all four testicles slapping her ass, he ejaculates so much it drips out of her pussy and sloshes all over the ground.
She then throws him to the ground, demanding he clean the floor, and cries as he does so...
After which Frea climbed on top of Babette, holding one of her legs up, and began scissoring her. Frea, blushing... sweating, insisted that she can't control herself. But Babette just looked deep into her eyes and smiled with approval, as if she enjoyed it.
Nazeem then woke up in a cold sweat, and was dumbfounded at what he saw. He begged to join in, but Serana sent him into another coma, with a well placed kick to the head.
Sheogarath promised her a LITERALLY INFINITE reward if she killed him. Which she was STRONGLY deliberating, since she wanted to engage in unspeakable sexual atrocities WITHOUT letting him interrupt her
The following morning, the girls and Nazeem awoken, but Frea was nowhere to be found. Babette soon found a note, which explains that while Frea loves them dearly, she cannot be with them anymore, as the All-Maker has called her back home.
Like a child who lost her mother, Babette began crying uncontrollably. In a fit of rage, she threw a beer bottle at Nazeem's head, knocking him out cold.
In the wake of his psychosis, Babette administered him the rorshach test to get a quick overview of his thoughts. The responses he gave to the ink blots were all overly sexually suggestive.
She diagnosed him with chronic sex deprivation, along with blue balls, caused by excessive semen retention. She suggested he just pleasure himself to try and remedy his condition, but that she can't help him personally, with this issue.
With a black soul gem (almost exactly the same one that she used to capture Nazeem's soul earlier, except that it's empty), she stripped off and inserted it into herself, attempting to climax. But this only supercharged Nazeem's libido.
Although a physician is strictly prohibited from performing intimate examinations on patients of the opposite sex, Babette thought she'd make an exception. She then wraps her tiny fingers around his erect cock, and gently begins stroking it.
Babette: Does that feel good? Tell me when you're about to cum.
Nazeem: What do you mean? What does that feel like?
He suggested more aggressive methods. She tied him to a pillar, completely naked, and whipped his bare ass continuously, with a ball gag in his mouth. All the while she shouted at him, "WHO'S YOUR MOMMY?".
He had no trouble ejaculating copious amount of sap during this ordeal.
Babette decided she needed one more bottle, so she could afford to retire.
To get the most volume from his next cumshot, the little vampire brought in her big sister, Serana, for assistance. With Nazeem chained up on the ground, Serana drops her trousers, revealing her seven inch flaccid cock.
Serana: I hope you'll enjoy this as much as I will, Nazeem.
Serana grabbed ahold Nazeem with both hands, and shovelled her salami into his gaping maw. She was laughing hysterically as she slammed her balls onto his chin, all the while he was desperately trying to push her away.
She then blasted so much into his throat, he swallowed most of it. And since he had a mouthful of her cock, he wasn't able to tell Babette he was about to cum. So he blasted the sap on the floor... thus wasting it.
Nazeem ran far and fast away from the thought of eating brain it haunted him as he ran into a tree this tree was the tree of life but the tree was gæy and upon touching this tree he was alive in a ditch with other man corpses with big gæy so he defiled the bodies one by one.
She then showed him, her massive foot-long, and he screamed in terror. Doing what she did to Nazeem, she shoved it down McTavish throat, but never pulled it out. He suffocated with a girl's dick in his mouth. The worst way to die.
Because of the sheer volume of sap inside her, it would leak out of her hole for next several days. This left her no choice but to buy and wear children's diapers, so she wouldn't have to keep changing her drawers.
To pay for the diapers, she ransacked Chillfurrow Farm.
Meridia berated Nazeem and insisted he has no place in the Coloured Rooms. She took his soul, and sent him back to Nirn.
Similar to The Vestige, he was a soulless being, but developed Cotard's delusion in the process. He then walked around the Whiterun Marketplace, asking people if they would be kind enough to leave flowers on his coffin when his funeral is held, soon.
They captured one soldier, and that was Nazeem who was in the army for some reason. In a room in the center of Oblivion, Nazeem was constricted to a table by four unbreakable ropes. All the Daedric Princes stood around him.