I personally prefer Winstad Manor, it seems to have fewer attacks than the other houses. Lakeview seems to be the worst for random attacks and bandits walking in and using my outdoor crafting stations. One play through I wound up with Aela as my steward at Lakeview, she offered to do it instead of me going into the menu for it and I had no problems with her leaving. Usually I use the housecarls as stewards since I get tired of tripping over people and animals.
You can't make Teldryn Sero a steward unless you use console commands (which you can't since you play on the PS3). His only services are follower and joining the Blades.
I'm on my first go-through, and didn't find this wiki until I had made some (palatable) mistakes.
I guess I'm just Captain Vanilla, because in my perfect world, I would have the following:
Lakeview: Housecarl Lydia, Steward Rayya. They both have very appealing looks and voices, tinged with humor.
Windstad: Housecarl Valdimir, Steward Brelyna. Brelyna is just moody enough to be realistic.
Heljarchen: Housecarl Gregor, Steward Jordis the Shield-Maiden. Since Gregor and Valdimir are cardboard clones of each other, Jordis (who really stands out with her youthful good looks and strength) REALLY stands out with that awesome voice and her no-nonsense marches all over the property.
I guess it's because the Housecarls can be melee tanks, and equipping the Stewards with dual staffs makes very short work of most invaders.
I have Mjoll as my spouse, and her little tumor Aerin hanging around, plus my two children (and their pets and dogs). If I want a full house, I move them as needed, and that homestead becomes formidable indeed. Even my well-armed non-combatant daughters will alert to Bandits ("You shouldn't have come here!" Well done, Sofie, I didn't see them until you warned me.)
If I want some space and quiet, I move alone to Heljarchen, where the Steward and Housecarl can be hundreds of yards away during an attack, and don't tend to spend much time in the house.
Maybe my tastes will evolve from Vanilla, but with this config, I've had no issues with bugs, and when I want a serious party crowd, I move the family, get an outside follower (plus Serana), buy an Armored Troll and sit around the house with a "Bandits Welcome" sign.
I don't get havng both a steward and a housecarl. isn't the housecarl just your follower?
I use Brelyna in my family home, she seemed well suited to be in the household with Onmund as my husband, they're in Lakeview (bedroom/stroage/kitchen) given that the children like it the most, with Rayya, Llewellyn and the children.
I have Marcurio stewarding in Heljarchen Hall (library/enchanter's/alchemy), you probably see the mage theme by now.
I have Erik in Windstad Manor (greenhouse/amoury/trophy), he's not really steward material but it's really just the thrown-together leftover house, and it isn't really one built for a mage either. I think he had the potential to be attractive had he been a mage and a personality more like Onmund. It would have been nice to have more ginger options, a ginger mage version of Celann would have been nice.
I had also considered Belrand and Illia.
I used lydia as steward,am i screwed?
That depends. 1-you can always reload to a previous save. 2-do you like her as your steward? she can still be your follower or wife or whatever. personally though Lydia annoys the crap out of me. 3-there are 3 homesteads you can buy & build so you can have 3 different stewards.
I hired Annekke Crag-Jumper as my steward because she is my wife, Sylgja's mom. XD