FANDOM

Razielplaysskyrim

aka Josh/Raziel

  • I live in in a pit of sorrow
  • My occupation is screwing up.
  • I am eternally regretfull

Bye! Edit

Okay, so most people here don't know but I went a little crazy on the Sandbox wiki. I've since apoligised and such but since then I've tried to figure out why I did what I did. I've always felt like an outcast and coming to wikia made me so happy. I'll always be grateful for the acceptance that I got here. I've been homeschooled for years now and I developed a huge amount of depression which I am still struggling with. I have Bipolar II Disorder, and Dissociative Identity Disorder amongst other things. This causes my severe mood swings, mania and depression, also my fear of rejection or abandonment. I came here and all my problems were gone. But then my social anxiety surfaced. I turned mean and snappy and overall a total dickhead. I actually formed an alter ego/ new personality. Raziel. He protected me and kept everybody from hurting me. My family notice that I withdrew. Raziel was mean and cruel. He, paired with my intellect was vicious. Bringing multiple people in my family to tears. Multiple times. During the few times I've felt like myself I've tried to fix these things. But to no avail. It's too late. I used Raziel to hurt everybody, to make them feel my pain. I'm sorry. I, after being banned from the Sandbox literally went crazy breaking things and trolling uncontrollably. Since then my depression deepened. I started cutting and such. I see no end to this. The good was that Raz can't protect me from depression. He can't. He dissapeared. I don't know the point of this change to my profile. I just did it. I'm done with wikia and if I don't get sufficient help. Life too. I miss roleplaying and the community I was once part of but until I get my shit together I won't come back again. I know me leaving is only a small bump in the wikia community but it's a huge part of my life. Goodbye. -Joshua,13

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