Hello, I'm ShawnHowellsCP, and I'm a professional black metal fan. Once a year I leave my lair (a cave I found in the woods) to play D&D, eat cold pizza, and do death growls towards my local church. If you are kvlt enough I may take you along on one of the many monthly church burnings I have absolutely no part in. I am the most trve and grvm of them all, and can only perceive the colors black, white, and red due to inserting an upside down crucifix into my nose too far. My trve kvlt grvm blvck metvl name is Master Mortician, and I am so underground I have yet to release any music. I get internet access by the blessing of the old gods and monthly payments to my internet provider. I can be found spending my free time by looking in a mirror and playing DSBM, doing the windmill outside of my lair to the old Immortal albums, yelling profanities at the grave of Euronymous in the honor of our king Varg Vikernes, shouting NSBM lyrics at my minority neighbors, and trying actively to convince everyone that I am not racist.